Potpourri

The Asbury Park Press reported today that the Board of Freeholders awarded Birdsall Engineering Inc. of Eatontown a contract worth $143,500 for the construction of a parking terminal at the Belford ferry. Funny, New York Waterway is going bankrupt and there won't be any cars parking at the Belford terminal shortly. Here's an article summing up the commuter ferry conspiracy situation in the Bayshore region.
[Related: NJ Transit to operate ferry? - fourth item]

It was winter. It wasn't important that it was winter; it was just a bit cold. The season doesn't affect this story in any way. There's no reason for it to be brought up since it's a tale about Jim and how he got a job, which was strange because he hadn't worked before and he didn't need money for anything. He never bought sweets from fancy shops or had an urge to own expensive pants, but one day Jim decided that he would work at the Splurge 'N Leave.

Ben Kharakh, a 17-year-old Middletown resident, has started a humor magazine online called One Trick Pony. The excerpt above is from the piece Jim Got a Job. [via the Independent]

Do you bathe yourself with "particles of toxic chemicals like lye and noxious byproducts like rendered animal fat?" You sick disgusting pig. Get yourself to Soapmarket in Red Bank and feel fabulous. Why can't our town be hip like Red Bank and have a fancy soap shop? Why can't we have obnoxious women (who shouldn't be) in Juicy Couture warm-ups window shopping in our town? And effete men in driving moccasins carrying their girlfriends' shih-tzus and lattes? Is it that we're just not hip enough and will be relegated to a lifetime of "washing" ourselves with rendered animal fat? I hope we have an organic soap shop in the town's master plan. I feel dirty.
[Related: Red Bank Becomes Red State]

If you're a Wes Anderson fan you may scratch your head after reading this article. [via Gawker]. If you're a Bottle Rocket fan you'll enjoy this reproduction of Dignan's Five Year Plan.