Top 10 Most Unromantic Ways to Spend Valentine's Day in Atlantic Highlands

10. Take your wife or girlfriend shopping at Arjay's - "That rifle is HOT on you honey."
9. Champagne and ribs at Memphis Pig Out - "Let me get that bbq sauce on your cheek for you. Hmmm....cheek sauce."
8. Snuggle up at the Scenic Liquors bar - "I love your scent - is it Winston Lights or Marlboro Reds?"
7. File for divorce at Borough Hall - "Couldn't we do this tomorrow?"
6. Ms. Pacman and the whites at the laundromat - "Your t-shirts have hamburger pits!"
5. Go see the new Winnie the Pooh movie at Atlantic Cinema 5 - "Ah, a night out away from the kids."
4. Jagermeister and schnitzel at the Hofbrauhaus - "When I get that feelin', I need Jagermeister and schnitzel..."
3. Pick up "the paper" at Foxhaus - "It's not mine! I swear!"
2. Hire a Seastreak captain to renew your vows on the way to work - "This IS NOT the cruise I had in mind."
1. Get a 1 hour room at the Leonardo Motel - "Oh sweetheart, the neon lights remind me of when we eloped in Vegas."