Hee-haw?........Holy Sh%&!

Have you heard about the black bear popping up all over Monmouth County this week?

The latest sighting happened sometime around 5 a.m. Thursday, when workers at Earle reported seeing the bear on the pier that extends into Sandy Hook Bay, said Nancy Eldridge, a spokeswoman for the military base.

No one is sure how the bear found its way onto the base and out to the pier, which is off limits to the public.

"It's restricted to military personnel, so I guess we could give him a $500 fine for trespassing," Eldridge joked Thursday afternoon. "We do have wildlife on the base, but this is the first time I can remember hearing about a bear on the base."

Well I'm really happy that Ms. Eldridge can keep her sense of humor about all of this but let's get back to the part about no one knowing how the bear got onto the base and how it's like restricted and all. I don't think they're exactly transporting donuts out of Earle. Maybe I'm a bit paranoid but perhaps the security measures at Earle need to be reviewed.

The Beerman done got me drooling again. His column this week reminded me of one of the best poems I've ever read. Who's better than G. Love to get your cocktail hour bumpin' and grindin'? Nobody, that's who.

With all this talk about harbor redevelopment in town one would be smart to get to know its history.

How cute! Bishop Gordon has a crush on the American Idol!

Next year I'll be attending the PBA Ball at the Shore Casino and will do some live blogging. For now you can read all about it here.

Why this car is automatic/It's systematic/It's hydromatic/Why it's the Atlantic Highlands Antique and Classic Car Show. Git yer grease on and look at old cars this Saturday Saturday Saturday.

If there's something you don't want to win it's The Effin Eejit Award.

I find this fascinating, you may not.

And now that it's officially summertime here are some BBQ tips from The Onion:

• Marinate your ribs in bourbon before barbecuing. The best way to do this is by pouring the whiskey down your throat.
• The endangered Cebu cinnamon tree of the Philippines is the best firewood for grilling. Use anything less, and you might as well be cooking your food on top of smoldering raccoon shit.
• When barbecuing veggie burgers, be sure to tie your long hair back. That will keep it away from the flames, you stupid hippie.
• Read the entire list here

So, what did everyone think of the harbor plans? I say more green please!