The Atlantic Highlands Muse

knock knock

2008-10-06T21:58:00.000-05:00

knock, knock
who's there?

Support Peter Richardson

2008-02-13T22:09:00.003-05:00

I recently read the minutes from the Atlantic Highlands Recreation Committee’s January 8, 2008 meeting and saw that the committee will be putting together a formal job description and review for the Director and Assistant Director positions for the summer recreation program. I support the current Director, Peter Richardson. Our daughter has enjoyed the Atlantic Highland's summer rec program for the past two years. During this time she not only got to spend time and play with her friends but was also introduced to new games, sports, children and activities that she otherwise would not have been exposed to.

After recently talking to other parents in town about the program we discovered that much of what the program is today is due to Peter's efforts. We hope his leadership and accomplishments are recognized by the committee and that Peter is the person to direct this important program. My wife and I both look back fondly on our summers spent at summer camp and having gotten to know Peter over the past two years through summer rec, youth hockey and his employment at the local dining establishment, Bella's, we are confident that our daughter is being given the opportunity to create these same wonderful memories.

There's a Recreation Committee meeting tomorrow (Valentine's Day) at 8:00 pm. If you support Peter but can't make the meeting due to, uh, other committments, please email the Borough Administrator and show your support.

The Bella's Beat, 12/07

2008-01-15T23:37:00.000-05:00

12/7/07 Dave Oberacker from Seeking Homer boogied on down from Hoboken to jam at Bella's. Check back shortly for the next show date.

12/27/07 Carl Nolan said ta-ta to friends and family at a going away bash before he left for Kuwait. I said hello to my first taste of Johnnie Walker Blue. Follow Carl's adventures here.

AH Mayor Fred Rast Predicts Doom/Gloom for US

2008-01-07T00:03:00.000-05:00

I'm still trying to process all of this.

Update, 1/15/08:

Below is the text of the speech given by AH Mayor Frederick J. Rast III at his swearing in ceremony on 1/1/08. In a, uh, nut shell, I find the speech ridiculous. In fact, there's really just too much ridiculousness for my brain to process. I trust Rast will provide his recommendation on how to fix Social Security at the next town Council meeting. As an avid hunter and not-so-avid fan of Baby Boomers (see below) I can only imagine what he might propose. If you were born between the years 1946 to 1964 you might want to consider relocating somewhere far away from Atlantic Highlands. Remember though that Rast is a private dick so he'll probably end up tracking you down anyway. And then hunting you for sport. Hippie-hunting season is officially open!

SPEECH 1 JAN 2008 AT
SWEARING IN OF FREDERICK J. RAST III

Today should be a very happy and joyous day for my running mates and me. However, as I stand here in front of my beloved family, close friends and fellow residents of Atlantic Highlands, I feel troubled and afraid of the future!

As I look into the beautiful faces of my three grandchildren, I wonder what is in store for them in the future? We live in an environment where so many of our USA citizens, continually do everything they can to detract from our country’s greatness. They constantly find fault in the USA and praise the rest of the world. They blame us, “The USA” for the world’s ills, when the truth is, that we as Americans do more for the rest of humanity, than any other nation.

The United States I grew up in, does not exist anymore! It started to decline in the 60’s, when people who believed more in their personal pleasures and free life style, made it fashionable to hold up Hollywood and Sports figures, as well as some foreign leaders, as their Heroes. They continually condemned and criticized our Military, Law Enforcement and Our Country as a whole. Unfortunately not all USA Detractors from that tragic point in History, changed as they got older! Many became members of our Government and some became Elected Officials. Many of them encourage our youth to continue to run down our nation. Many trained or at least set examples to their children, that the only thing important in life is to be rich and famous. They put their pleasures first, before their Country and Community. They look down on People who are religious, who are community volunteers and those who are of middle or lower income.
When I see the “Political Correct Crowd” making people uncomfortable who wish someone Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah, it sickens me!

When groups such as “ACLU” push their twisted anti-American agenda into our society, I get outraged! I think it is time for people to realize that we are heading down a very steep, slippery, hill. If we don’t act now and don’t defy the “Political Correct Crowd” immediately, we are doomed as a nation!

In my opinion, every citizen should give back to his or her community as a volunteer, not for money or glory but for our survival!

When a small group complains just because a town may endorse or support a traditional Christian, Jewish, Muslim or any other religious event, we cannot “Bow” to their pressure! We must stand strong and say it is time for the majority to win, not the minority!

All good citizens are tolerant of others in every way. Giving someone a smile and wishing them a Happy Hanukah or Merry Christmas during a religious holiday cannot be wrong! It is an expression of love and well wishing from one person to another, even if its not that persons religious holiday.

Elected officials who are of the “Me First Mindset” disgust me when they make new laws just so they can get their names in the papers or their faces on TV. There are more senseless laws made just for personal recognition of lawmakers, than legitimate ones!

A great example is the law about using a handheld cell phone while driving. It is not a violation to put on make up, read, eat or tend to screaming children while driving. But it is to hold a cell phone.

Careless and Reckless driving violations relate to the actions of the driver, they have existed for well over 75 years. We needed no new law!

Today’s “Political Correct Extremists”, have taught people to blame anything but one’s own actions for their conduct!.

When a person takes a gun and kills people, it is not their fault, it is the gun manufacturers fault, for making the gun. Someone puts hot coffee between their legs while driving and gets burned, it is not their fault. It is the company who sold the hot coffee to them.

Global warming extremists within the last several weeks announced that they think there will be a great flood due to the Earth’s polar ice cap melting, possibly within 10 years! Some people are making large sums of money preaching doom and gloom, dealing with Environmental issues. They don’t mention however, that the Polar Ice caps on “Mars” are also melting at the same rate as the Earth’s. Why don’t they demand SUV’s stop being used on Mars or could it be the elliptical patterns of Orbit of the Earth, Mars and other planets are nearer the Sun at this point in time?

Another thing the “Global Warming Extremists” have said is that people of the Jewish faith, should not light candles on the menorah. In Australia they want to “genetically alter” cows, pigs and sheep so when they FLATULANTE there is no methane gas coming out, just like kangaroos. I wonder how much taxpayer’s money was given to capture kangaroo FLATULANCE, to check for methane?

Also one of these groups said if you have over 2 kids, there should be a “carbon dioxide tax” levied upon the parents, to cover for the additional carbon dioxide that the kids will expel over their lifetime. Of course we as humans expel Carbon Dioxide as part of our breathing process.
Please someone get a Big Net!

We all agree that we should protect the environment, man should not pollute and we should do everything we can to save our Natural resources.

The clear thinking majority, has to speak up and the madness must stop!

This is the real reason I ran for mayor. I want to bring back common sense to government. I have no desire to get publicity, I will never be on an ego trip! I am Fred Rast, a local town boy, who was elected mayor. I don’t expect I will always make the right decisions, so you my fellow citizens, don’t expect it of me!

I guarantee that I am going to make some people unhappy about the way I provide leadership, as your mayor. I also pledge that I will accomplish things that have to be done! I will always, have the best interest of the majority of our people at the forefront of every decision I make, popular or unpopular!

I will not personally and will not stand for other elected officials, to micro-manage the operations of our town. The professionals we have, at all levels of our town’s operation, know better than I do, how to do their job. We as elected officials are here to make sure they do their job in an honest, economical and very town sensitive, manner!

We are now a Mayor and Council for all citizens, no longer representing a political party but representing all citizens. I hope all of you work with me and our council, give us time and we will keep our town solvent and a wonderful place to live.

Our town, unfortunately gained the reputation in recent years, as being one of the most unfriendly towns in the area. Unfriendly, towards Investors, Small Builders, Real Estate People, General Contractors and Homeowners trying to improve their property! Complaints range from extremely expensive permits, an over abundance of red tape, long delays and unreasonable thinking committees, who openly show their lack of willingness towards construction, expansion and improvements in our town!

Complaints about Board Members badgering and treating people as though they were criminals who appear before them have been occurring for years. I intend to make sure all members of committees, boards and utilities who have expressed attitudes unfriendly to people who come before them, based on their prejudices or preferences understand this will not be tolerated. Some individuals openly have spoken against projects and applications long before they even heard all the testimony and voted on applications. Members of Boards must have an open mind, be fair, honest, nonpartisan and never allow their personal preferences to prejudice their decisions.

The Council and I, will work very hard to make Atlantic Highlands a Destination place that will attract and keep businesses in our town, as well as bring customers to those businesses. We will do everything in our power to enhance First Ave and Home-based businesses, so that they can provide more local jobs, continue to pay taxes and provide services locally, so that our residents need not travel, to get life’s needs. Remember if commercial rateables are successful, it reduces the property taxes homeowners have to pay!

We will continue to work hard on the remediation of our sewer system, to stop infiltration of ground water. This will drop costs of processing sewerage, thus reducing our Sewer Rates.
We will insist on private clean up of contaminated property by owners or responsible parties in town!

We will ensure that all of our publicly owned parks are maintained and kept available for maximum use by our citizens.

We will work very hard to build a badly needed public library in our town, in the most economical way possible.

We will spend our tax dollars on necessary things that will protect and enhance the lives of all our citizens.

We will always respect and protect the rights of Private Property Owners, with a rare exception if the owners actions create a direct threat to their neighbors or if the owners actions, are in violation of our laws.

We are going to conduct a complete review of our ordinances, rules and regulations to update where necessary, to amend where needed so that everyone can understand them and to shorten the Bureaucratic delays such ordinances, rules, and regulations have been found to cause!

As I said earlier “In my opinion, every citizen should give back to his or her community as a volunteer, not for money or glory but for our survival”. Therefore I have created a Senior Citizen committee headed by two of our former mayors, who truly love our town, Mayor Helen Marchetti and Mayor Robert Schoeffling. They will co-chair this committee of volunteer Senior Citizens, over 65 years old, who will be asked to help us with projects needed by the Borough in an effort to keep our town’s expenses down. We will ask experienced, community loving seniors, to become directly involved in the operation of our town. The co-chairs will identify a cadre of seniors, who’s experience in various areas of expertise, can again be used for the benefit of our community. With their help, often we can save or reduce the cost of outside “experts” or professionals wherever possible. Thus saving all of us, Tax Dollars.

I have also created a new committee, headed by former Councilwoman Kim Spatola, to coordinate efforts towards the promotion of Atlantic Highlands through beautification projects, advertising projects and a cooperative effort between the Chamber of Commerce, Arts Council and other groups who have our community at heart!

I promise that I will openly explain to those citizens interested, every project that I will be implementing and/or supporting over my tenure as Mayor.

Atlantic Highlands must remain a town where anyone, of any race, creed, religion, national origin or personal beliefs, can walk our streets safely and unmolested. The only people who should fear our town’s streets, must be people who wish to do our citizens harm! Towards such goals I will be encouraging Public Safety projects as needed!

Thank you all for coming today, God Bless you, Your Families Our Town and Our Great Nation!

Local Effort Being Made to Buy N.Y. Ferry Service Catamarans

2008-01-06T22:00:00.000-05:00

Ed. note: some contents of the original Asbury Park Press article have been, uh, updated. The original article can be purchased here.

By MICHAEL L. DIAMOND
BUSINESS WRITER
Asbury Park Press
December 18, 2007

A Wall Street executive said Monday he is working with local investors to buy four high-speed catamarans used by SeaStreak America Inc. to ferry passengers from Monmouth County to New York.

The possible bid from a group led by Michael Gooch, a Rumson resident and chief executive officer of the brokerage service GFI Group Inc., could ease fears that the boats will be sold to Trinidad and Tobago as part of a bankruptcy reorganization.

"Myself and other investors are not really, frankly, interested in being ferry operators," Gooch said. "We're just interested in seeing a quality ferry service continue."

The move comes as the future of the ferry service remains in doubt. SeaStreak's parent company, Sea Containers Ltd. of Bermuda, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy more than a year ago after it became burdened by debt. Among the creditors are unnamed banks which own the high-speed boats and charter them to SeaStreak.

Reports surfaced last summer that Trinidad & Tobago was prepared to offer $30 million for the boats to begin ferry service in the Caribbean nation.

Some 2,000 people a day take the boats — 400-passenger vessels that travel more than 40 mph — from Highlands and Atlantic Highlands to Manhattan, and the possibility of losing the service has unnerved them. Commuters say the ferry ride gets them to New York in about half the time it would take if they drove or took the train. Many of them said it is a major reason they live in Monmouth County . They worry that replacement boats would be much slower.

Losing the boats "would be an absolute disaster," said Robert Picard, who takes the ferry each day to get from his Rumson home to his office in midtown Manhattan. "There are no boats around that could replace those four."

In addition to working with investors, Gooch said he has talked to a ferry operator about taking over the service and investing in it. He declined to name the operator. But he said he is close to making what he called a "preliminary, nonbinding bid."

Gooch said there is little to prevent the vessels from being sold to Trinidad and Tobago — or to any other buyer. So local legislators have asked government agencies to intervene if the vessels are sold to a foreign country — if only to give Gooch and his investment group more time.

U.S. Rep. Frank Pallone, D-N.J. asked the U.S. Maritime Administration to block the vessels' sale to a foreign country. But Shannon Russell, a spokeswoman for the agency, said, the agency only regulates the sale of U.S. vessels that weigh more than 1,000 gross tons, which is bigger than the SeaStreak boats."

There's nothing that the Maritime Administration can do to stop this sale if, in fact, it happens," Russell said. "It's not against the law. It's nothing that we regulate."

In New Jersey, state Sen. Joseph M. Kyrillos Jr., Assemblywoman Jennifer Beck and Assemblyman Sean Kean, all R-Monmouth, last week wrote Attorney General Anne Milgram and asked her to investigate legal grounds to block the vessels' sale to a foreign country.

Lee Moore, a spokesman for the Attorney General's Office, said attorneys are reviewing the letter.

Gooch said other hurdles remain. Namely, the local investment group won't pay more than what the boats are worth, making it unlikely that it would get involved in a bidding war that would make it a money-losing venture.

The group approached a sample of the ridership to survey their thoughts on potential new services to increase revenues. Services mentioned in the survey include additional food and beverage offerings such as pork roll, egg and cheese sandwiches for the morning commutes and selections of gourmet hot dogs, beers on tap from local brewers and single malt scotch tasting events on the afternoon and evening routes.

Vessel naming rights are currently being negotiated should the group move forward with the purchase. Fantasies, a gentlemen's club in Keyport, is considering sponsorship of the current SeaStreak New Jersey. Gooch said other local business being approached include McLoone's Restaurant Group and Ray Cantena Motors.

Willie Graber, a spokesperson for Fantasies' management would not disclose how much his clients have bid for the vessel's naming rights but joked that the sponsorship would be paid for with singles. "We're still negotiating so there's really nothing to comment on at this time. SeaStreak's clientele ride in the lap of luxury, we want to put our brand in their laps," Graber said.

Gooch summed up the group's mentality at this point, "individuals are willing to put up money to save the service, but not lose money. They want to know if they did invest, it would be professionally run and the economics make sense. We're trying to put that together."

Merry Chirstmas!

2005-12-22T13:22:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays everybody. Can anyone guess what my New Year's resolution will be?

(PS - Why did the town put up a Charlie Brown Christmas tree? Is it even 6 ft. tall? Way to spread the holiday cheer!)

For Posterity

2005-11-09T08:28:00.000-05:00

Here are the Atlantic Highlands Republicans goals. Now that they have the council majority let's see if they can get them accomplished.

From www.ahgop.net

Our goals for the future:

1. Oppose high density development
2. Improve Harbor Waterfront Area for Recreation and Ratables without condemnation
3. Hire qualified and experienced professionals
4. Running the Borough like a business
5. Promote Atlantic Highlands and its business
6. Beautify First Avenue entrance
4. Oppose parking garage in harbor
5. Complete Bayshore Bike Trail
6. Aggressively explore Library Expansion
7. Additional Teen Programs for Recreation
8. Monitor NJNG Cleanup
9. Make Government more transparent
10. More grants to improve our Infrastructure

Republican Candidates have always run on a record of proven accomplishments. We promise to continue to make Atlantic Highlands a great place to live.

Stay Tuned

2005-09-29T11:13:00.000-05:00

Helllllloooooooo...anyone out there?

Pardon my absence - been viva-ing Las Vegas and returned to a variety of home and work duties that required my most immediate attention. Don't fret though- I just put a load of laundry in the washer and will get it online soon.

In the meantime, can somebody tell me about the Meet the ~~Mets~~ Mayor event last Tuesday? I hear we're getting a bike a path.

Boy, I hate to be a cynic but I'll believe that one when I peddle it for the first time.

Help Victims of Hurricane Katrina on Thursday 9/8 and Monday 9/19

2005-09-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

Goodies, located on the corner of First Avenue and West Mount Street will be collecting donations on Thursday, September 8, from 8:00 am to 8:00 pm. Area residents are encouraged to bring items such as diapers, sheets, clothing and plastic bins for shipping. Items need to be in good condition and clean. For more information please stop by Goodies and ask for Cindy.

[updated 9/7/05]

Julia's Restaurant, located at 91 First Avenue, will donate all proceeds from dinner on Monday, September 19th to the American Red Cross. Chef Joe and owner John Valentin (former New York Mets and Boston Red Sox player) have also announced that a portion of the restaurant's September revenue will also be donated to the American Red Cross Hurricane Katrina relief fund.

Here I Come to Save the Day

2005-09-02T11:30:00.000-05:00

If Councilman Jack Archibald has a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the ~~A-Team~~ Atlantic Highlands Herald.

AH Herald editor Allan Dean defends Archibald this week from the "politically motivated rumors" apparently being spread by Atlantic Highlands Democrats that Archibald is in favor of the redevelopment of the McConnell property. However, Dean doesn't name who's spreading these rumors. Why not? Is it because this rumor is a rumor itself? Is it that he read this post and now I'm an "otherwise reliable AH Dem(s)" now turned to the Dark Side? Is Dean serious when he states that politically motivated rumors (invented by Democrats) are beginning to fly and that politics are turning ugly (damn Democrats again) now that election season has started? Anyone who reads the Herald and its forums knows that politically motivated rumors and ugly politics are what keep us reading the soap opera that is our town politics year in and year out and that Dean himself actively participates.

For the record, Mayor Donoghue wrote a letter to the editor of the Bayshore Courier stating that he's going to work to see that the McConnell property can be used for public green space. Councilman Carl Nolan has also gone on record saying he is working toward stopping any kind of development on our shores. I'm yet to read or hear Archibald and the Republicans come out against this development. He's used the issue to try to paint the Democrats as being lazy and incompetent, yet he's been on the Council for nine years, has been involved in the town's Master Plan, has worked to protect other green space in town and yet no word on this property. Why?

Well, regardless of what I think, the Mayor thinks or Councilmen Archibald and Nolan think, you should let these folks know what you think.

AHES Renovation

Wednesday night's open house at the newly renovated AHES was a nice event. The teachers and staff were very friendly and informative, leading small tours through different classrooms and wings of the building. I encourage anyone who couldn't make it to drop by the school and take a tour. Some things I noticed:

Some classrooms still have the original built-in cabinets and closets. Pretty neat.
Most classrooms have at least two computers and the new media center is high-high-tech.
Teachers still use the same cassette players and old-school headphones that I remember from elementary school. Couldn't we have afforded an iPod for each class? (That's a joke - I can hear a few Republican council members cursing my name right now).
The band room is really smelly. What's up with that?
The cake in the cafeteria was tast-eee and nearly swallowed whole by my daughter. Good thing she's a messy eater and left some crumbs on her party dress for me.

Carnival of New Jersey Bloggers

I'm a little late on this but check out last Sunday's edition hosted by PDC Ryan of If This Is Paradise I Wish I Had a Lawn-mower. The latest installment of the Carnival will be hosted by Have You Had Your Dojo Mojo Today? Look for it on Sunday. If this carney talk don't make sense to you read about the party here.

Hurricane Relief

The Keansburg Fire Department in association with the Keansburg Office of Emergency Management and the Keansburg Police Department will be making an emergency supply collection for the victims of Hurricane Katrina which hit the South.

Here's a list of organizations that are also collecting money to help those affected by the hurricane.

You can read a first hand account how horrible the situation is in New Orleans on this blog.

Miscellany

Just 7 days until TRT: The Book! Kick off your driving mocs, sit back and relax with a good book in whichever of your 30 rooms you decide.
Long Trail...mmmm...Magic Hat....number 9, number 9, Otter Creek...Get to know your Vermont beers with our very own Beerman.
I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore! Anderson Cooper of CNN let the Sen. Mary Landrieu (Democrat of Louisiana) have it big time.
Area Man Training For Upcoming Sanford And Son Marathon.
Check out Down the Shore, a blog covering our backyard.

....nah, nah, nah, nah...nah, nah, nah, nah....hey hey, goodbye. All together now.

Buh-bye Bennies!

Have a great Labor Day weekend!

Hovnanian proposal not right for town

2005-09-02T11:00:00.000-05:00

The following letter was published in the Bayshore Courier on August 25, 2005. Thank you to Associate Editor Jackie Corley for providing a copy.

To The Editor:

The proposal by Hovnanian to build 42 condominium units on the Atlantic Highlands waterfront is an ill-conceived idea worthy of opposition by all officials and residents.

I am absolutely against this high-density housing proposal and will fight it in any way possible. It is my belief that under no circumstances should any developer be allowed to build any more homes on this sensitive land than the R-1 zone allows. Anything more would add considerably to area traffic and safety concerns, increase school enrollment and taxpayer costs and further burden the water and sewer systems.

As a matter of fact, I think it would be wise for the borough to look into the possibility and implications of acquiring the land for public use, taking advantage of Green Acres and other available funding. The McConnell tract is, after all, one of our last water front properties and its preservation would be a marvelous legacy to the people of our community.

But whatever use evolves, I believe Hovnanian has evidenced a lack of concern for the people of the borough by pursuing this proposal, now in the hands of the Planning Board, despite the clearly expressed views of both residents and borough officials.

More than that, they have challenged the borough's right to afford able housing certification under Mount Laurel II, an action that will cost the borough considerable taxpayers' money to contest. Therefore, let me make it clear that I oppose this proposed development and I have grave questions about whether Hovnanian has any other goal than making money, despite the impact on the shore and its residents.

Peter E. Donoghue
Mayor, Atlantic Highlands

Wanookie Friday

2005-08-26T15:30:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Wanookie.

A long time ago when the New York Giants won the Superbowl, a reporter asked then New York City Mayor Koch if he was going to throw a parade for the team in downtown NYC. To which he said something to the effect of, "they can have their parade in Wanaque." Just a Jersey rookie when I read about the incident, I read the line as a parade in wä-nä-kē -- which sounded like a lot of fun to me. Wanakie eventually evolved into wä-nōō-kē so as to compliment Jay's line "schnookie nookie!" in Clerks . Hence, Fridays (fun) = Wanookie. Now you know. Someday perhaps I'll tell you all about the Extremely Raritan Bridge and Say You, Say Me, Sayreville... Naturally.

Hey somebody's gotta have some fun 'round here. Sure as hell ain't no fun at Borough Hall. We gots ourselves a battle royale. And it's only August. The November Council election is still 74 days away but somebody tell Mean Gene Okerlund to git his monkey suit on and git on down here to start the show. In addition to the Borough Attorney circus there's another carnival in town called the McConnell Property. And like always, it's a game of he said, she said, leaving residents like me scratching their heads.

Councilman Jack Archibald (who is gearing up for his November campaign) supports the redevelopment of the McConnell Property by K. Hovnanian. Archibald's latest Body Politic column in the Atlantic Highlands Herald is entitled McCONNELL PROPERTY SHOULD BE CLEANED UP BEFORE SALE TO HOVNANIAN (fait accompli, no?). Archibald believes if the borough forced New Jersey Natural Gas to clean up the site then Hovnanian would only need to build single-family homes and not multi-family units to subsidize the cost of the environmental clean-up. And who gets the blame for not forcing a cleanup of the property - the Donoghue Administration of course, who according to Archibald, have "neglected the issue for the past year."

However, Councilwoman Stephanie Ladiana writes, "for the last 9 years he [Archibald] seems to have intentionally ignored this property. Now that it’s convenient for him to take a position on it, he does. The only problem he’s constantly contradicting himself."

Looks to me like Archibald is on the developer's side on this one. He worked to designate the area for residential development, left the area off of the Borough's Open Space and Recreation Plan and as such does not agree with a majority of residents.

So, enquiring minds want to know - clean or dirty? Development or green space? Oh and there's this whole thing about a lawsuit about Atlantic Highlands not providing affordable housing units which could somehow provide a loophole for Hovnanian to get in. I hope the Democratic candidates spell out a clear point-of-view on this issue and I hope that view is that this property should become waterfront green space for all residents to enjoy.

Dynamobuzz pointed me to this article from the Wall Street Journal that takes another look at how the Supreme Court's decision in the case of Kelo vs. City of New London could affect homeowners in Long Branch who continue to fight to keep their homes from being dozed for luxury condos.

And since it's Wanookie let's have some fun:

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New "Intelligent Falling" Theory
Mary Had a Little Lamb. It Was Delicious: Klingon Fairy Tales
Dictatorship's Secret: The Mall's Banana Republics for the New Millennium
Stop smearing us!

The Summer Wind

2005-08-25T07:45:00.000-05:00

The summer wind, came blowin’ in - from across the sea
It lingered there, so warm and fair - to walk with me
All summer long, we sang a song - and strolled on golden sand
Three sweethearts, and the summer wind

Please pardon my absence. The Hill family has had one hell of a summer full of BBQ's, cold brews, beach trips, mountain retreats, cape fire marshmallows, limousine rides and rock n' roll shows, fireworks, sangria, Brazilian dance parties and a whole lot o' plain ol' downhome git down and boogie in the backyard. Can a brother get an Amen to that?!

Hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla boobuhla hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla bop!

Feels good to be back. Shasta!

'Tis fickle indeed that summer wind. Such a strange time when August winds down. Summer's end is September 22 accordingly to the calendar but as we all know folks, summer's cooked. It's back to school time (and back to bloggin' time). Not to say there isn't a lot more fun in the sun to be had before we start raking leaves (which are beginning to fall if you've got a keen eye that sort of thing) but the temperatures are dropping, the sunlight is different, the days are getting shorter and you can just feel it...ain't no cure for the summertime's over blues.

Unless you pop some Xanax and the cork off a 1990 Dom Perignon, relax with a good read by the pool and live the life that is....
Two River Times: The Book.

Our readers know and enjoy the best of many worlds, moving easily between penthouse and playing field; Big Apple and horse farm. Whether sporty, flirty or fun, they're well-read and well-traveled. In the boardroom or on the back nine, two river people mean business: they believe in living life rich -- rich in laughter, rich in luxury, rich in adventure, and most of all, rich in spirit. They know that each of us has only one ticket on this carousel ride of life -- and they're grabbing for the gold ring.

Damn. I rather enjoyed my lunch and that carousel ride just made me lose it.

But the question is, is there enough room on this fancy carousel for both TRT: The Book and M.A.R. Magazine (Mid-Atlantic Riviera)? I for one can't wait to see who wins the leather corset belt (you heard it here first - fall's must have accessory) in the prize fight for the glassy-eyed attention Monmouth County's desperately nouveau riche housewives.

Some things haven't changed since summer started:

Republican council members continue to battle the Borough Attorney.
Democratic Mayor Peter Donoghue continues to battle the council republicans.
No work has been done on the bike trail.
Lawsuits continue in the battle for Sandy Hook.

Let me hear you say this $#!% is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s*

And some things have changed:

Bella's has opened on First Avenue. The reviews are in and are stellar so far.
The Atlantic Highlands Elementary School hired Christopher Rooney as the new superintendent.
The Front Porch Club has launched a new website. Check it out and get involved.
Jackie Corley from the Bayshore Courier has launched Bayshore Journalista, a new blog covering ~~news~~ scandals around the area. [note: a link to the site has been added to the blogroll so you can keep up with the soaps]

I'm just getting warmed up and caught up with all the news that's been shakin' and bakin' round the Bayshore. Please tune in again regularly as I'll be spinning all the hits of the day.

* Best song of the summer. Ya gots to love the Gwen Stefani.

Interview with a Kharakh

2005-06-23T16:13:00.000-05:00

Ben Kharakh of Middletown is a graduate of the Communications High School of the Monmouth County Vocational School District. His website, One Trick Pony, offers a collection of humor pieces written by Ben and assorted imaginary collaborators. Ben's list of "Sexual Euphemisms That Won't Catch On" was recently published in the book Created in Darkness By Troubled Americans: The Best of McSweeney's Humor Category. I recently corresponded with Ben via an interpreter using electronic mail; here's what we talked about.

Is it true you look like a mustached Jonathon Taylor Thomas? And if so are you single for our lady readers?
Keith [Whitener - PR flack] is the one with the 'stache. I look more like Rock Hudson than the middle child from Home Improvement. There will be plenty of time for women when I'm dead. Right now, I have to concentrate on saving the world from mediocre comedy.

Thoughts on mustaches?
I prefer the look of fake 'staches and am known to wander around public places with faux whiskers.

Do you have a permanent residence?
I do.

I read an article where you referred to yourself in the third person. Why would you do that?
To spice things up.

Let's play Madlibs:
I was so traumatized by the time I was 30 years old that my only solace was my poop badminton skills and stupid ability to poo. Thus the Mohwak, books, Tevas and toilet.

Are you funny because you really hurt inside?
I build a wall to keep people on the other side, but they keep waiting. And picking.

What is your caffeinated beverage of choice and have you ever stolen from someone you love to get a fix?
Caffeine keeps me up, so I avoid it. I once had a Pepsi at three P.M and couldn't fall asleep until one in the morning.

Describe The Catcher in the Rye in five words:
J.D. Salinger's only good book.

Are you one wild and crazy guy?
I give Dan Ackroyd and Steve Martin a run for their money.

Rt. 35 or Rt. 36 – which is one is da bomb?
Choosing between the two is like choosing between one's own children. I don't want to contribute to global over-population, so I don't have to worry about that.

Most people ride horses or in cars – what's your ride?
I drive a class III Armored Vehicle - a 1990 Cutlass Sierra. Watch out on the road because I will not hesitate to crush you.

Name two people if given the chance you would whisper sweet nothings in their ear and what would you say?
Whispering makes me uneasy and I wouldn't want to infringe on someone's comfort zone, so I wouldn't partake in such an activity.

Hello, Hello Again

2005-06-21T11:30:00.000-05:00

Yikes, it's been a long time. I hope there are some people out there still reading the AH Muse. I suppose if worse comes to worst I could manufacture a few controversies to get some attention. It works for some AH republicans...

Congrats to local humorist Ben Kharakh (of Middletown I think) on the publishing of a list he submitted to the McSweeney's website. Ben's list, "Sexual Euphemisms That Won't Catch On," was included in the book Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans: The Best of McSweeney's Humor Category. I've been slacking off on putting together an interview with Ben but hope to share some of our email exchanges soon. For those of you who don't know, McSweeney's is a big deal. At least to me.

The New Jersey Dept. of Transportation will be building a ~~suicide lane~~ bike path along the northbound and southbound sides of Route 36, extending the Henry Hudson Bike Trail from Atlantic Highlands to Sandy Hook. This better not be the completion of the decades-in-the- making Bayshore bike trail. Nuts! The idea of the bike path is for me and my family to be able to enjoy a leisurely ride to the beach, not get run off the road by cars speeding by at 60 mph and throwing cans of Mountain Dew out the window.

As the Bike Trail currently ends around Route 36 and Ave. D, I had to put my legs to work last Friday when I hooked up my daughter's trailer to my mountain bike and climbed the "highland" in Atlantic Highlands to get to the bay beach in Highlands. While the exhilaration of feeling like Lance Armstrong climbing the Pyrenees was fun my legs felt like they were made of chum chutney by the time I got home. If they don't finish the bike path by next summer my ~~little~~ not-so-little girl ain't gettin' any more free rides to the beach.

(PS - Gatorade is bunk - Long Trail Ale will replace any lost electrolytes and get you back on your feet in no time, especially if your BOF (Beer Only Fridge - thank you Mr. Beerman) is about 15 feet away from your lounge chair.

Please Mister Beerman/look and see/oh yeah
If there's a summer wheat beer in your fridge for me
Please, please Mister Beerman
Why's it takin' such a long time/oh yeah
For me to ride that bike trail of mine

Anyway. So apparently there's yet another "scandal" at Borough Hall (gasp gasp!). The Borough appointed a new Chief Financial Officer - Dawn L. Babcock - and, as always, our own Fox and Mulder (registration required) are on the case. This episode leads us down a trail of conspiracies and cover-ups and takes us to the spooky swamplands of Rutherford, NJ. You know weird stuff goes on there near dem Meadowlands - people with green faces, giants, devils, little men in silk. But it gets weirder. The new CFO was employed by Rutherford for only two-and-a-half months. THE HORROR!!

Thus our latest controversy. When the Council came out of an executive session in which the offer to Ms. Babcock was debated the people demanded to know who she was, where she worked, what she would be making, what her favorite pizza topping is and what dirt they could use to further the relentless assault on the dreaded Democratic Donoghue Regime. When Councilwoman Ladiana refused to answer these questions all hell broke loose - though I did hear the Councilwoman said that the new CFO likes pineapple on her pizza, which is weirder still (and unconfirmed). And why didn't our elected official cave into the demands of the angry mob? Because she's a tyrant on a power binge? A mad scientist that likes to tie residents up (preferably midgets) and throw food bits at them? No, she didn't make any announcements or answer questions because the prospective job candidate had not officially accepted the Council's offer. Thus, nothing to talk to about. Ah, but plenty to write about on the Atlantic Highlands Herald Forums, beginning in the wee hours and ending with phone calls to Ms. Babcok's former (then current) employer (which is how her former employer learned that Ms. Babcock would be resigning). Nice work folks! What if Ms. Babcock decided not to accept AH's offer? Now her employer knows she's interviewing. And not because she was working on her resume on company time or saying she was taking a long lunch to go on an interview or two or being just plain sloppy. No, a rabid pack of dogs had to chase down and manufacture a controversy.

Because that's how you get attention. Remind me to never apply for a job at Borough Hall.

Hey folks - buried in today's post is an allusion to an influential scientist who did strange things to midgets. Your neighborhood blogger will purchase you a cold brewski if you can name that scientist.

Hee-haw?........Holy Sh%&!

2005-06-03T16:00:00.000-05:00

Have you heard about the black bear popping up all over Monmouth County this week?

The latest sighting happened sometime around 5 a.m. Thursday, when workers at Earle reported seeing the bear on the pier that extends into Sandy Hook Bay, said Nancy Eldridge, a spokeswoman for the military base.

No one is sure how the bear found its way onto the base and out to the pier, which is off limits to the public.

"It's restricted to military personnel, so I guess we could give him a $500 fine for trespassing," Eldridge joked Thursday afternoon. "We do have wildlife on the base, but this is the first time I can remember hearing about a bear on the base."

Well I'm really happy that Ms. Eldridge can keep her sense of humor about all of this but let's get back to the part about no one knowing how the bear got onto the base and how it's like restricted and all. I don't think they're exactly transporting donuts out of Earle. Maybe I'm a bit paranoid but perhaps the security measures at Earle need to be reviewed.

The Beerman done got me drooling again. His column this week reminded me of one of the best poems I've ever read. Who's better than G. Love to get your cocktail hour bumpin' and grindin'? Nobody, that's who.

With all this talk about harbor redevelopment in town one would be smart to get to know its history.

How cute! Bishop Gordon has a crush on the American Idol!

Next year I'll be attending the PBA Ball at the Shore Casino and will do some live blogging. For now you can read all about it here.

Why this car is automatic/It's systematic/It's hydromatic/Why it's the Atlantic Highlands Antique and Classic Car Show. Git yer grease on and look at old cars this Saturday Saturday Saturday.

If there's something you don't want to win it's The Effin Eejit Award.

I find this fascinating, you may not.

And now that it's officially summertime here are some BBQ tips from The Onion:

Marinate your ribs in bourbon before barbecuing. The best way to do this is by pouring the whiskey down your throat.
The endangered Cebu cinnamon tree of the Philippines is the best firewood for grilling. Use anything less, and you might as well be cooking your food on top of smoldering raccoon shit.
When barbecuing veggie burgers, be sure to tie your long hair back. That will keep it away from the flames, you stupid hippie.
Read the entire list here

So, what did everyone think of the harbor plans? I say more green please!

Stay Tuned

2005-06-02T15:03:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks - one of dem weeks. New content for ya bad selves coming up manana.

Viva La Revolution!

2005-05-26T10:18:00.000-05:00

The SeaStreak boycott and email campaign worked. Thanks to all who participated and stuck it to the man. And for all those people who laughed at us and didn't want to stand up to be heard - you can buy me drinks all June with the $77 you're going to save monthly now.

From : Contact,Seastreak
Sent : Thursday, May 26, 2005 10:44 AM
To : "Contact, Seastreak"
Subject : Letter to Monmouth County Passengers

Dear Passengers:

First, let me say thank you to those of you that took the time to e-mail me. Your comments have helped me to understand your concerns and we will be making some changes during the next week or so to improve our service to you.

We appreciate the loyalty of our regular riders and effective June 1st SeaStreak will reinstate the 120 trip book at $1,517. This effectively is a $77 per month savings over our current 40-trip ticket book price.

The top deck will be open for your enjoyment on afternoon departures beginning this Friday afternoon, May 27th.

The 11:00pm E. 34 St. and 11:15pm Pier 11 departures will be returning daily on Tuesday, May 31st. This service will operate Monday – Friday initially throughout the summer.

We will be working on a number of other on-board improvements and additional concession offerings and will advise you as they are introduced.

We are in business to provide you a safe, fast and comfortable daily commute and hope that you continue utilizing the SeaStreak ferry service.

Regards,

Geoffrey Ede

Ciao Bella

2005-05-24T22:10:00.000-05:00

It's been a while. Let's see what's shakin'...

Team Holland began it's rowing adventure in AH last week and is hoping to make it to Europe in under 55 days. How does one prepare for a trip rowing across the Atlantic? By grabbing some late night Chinese food. On my way home after stepping off a late ferry last Thursday I saw four tall, blond guys in track suits having dinner at Cheng's Garden and popped in to wish them good luck and a fond farewell. Wheaties may be the breakfast of champions but General Tso's Chicken is apparently the dinner of champions.

There's talk of merging the Highlands and Atlantic Highlands school districts. The topic has been raised at Board of Education meetings in both towns but it doesn't seem like there are any concrete plans as of yet. The idea was also explored 15 years ago according to the Asbury Park Press but never gained momentum.

Forget Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, watch out for Episode II: Attack of the ~~Clones~~ Hawk.

SeaStreak commuters received an email from Geoffrey Ede, Managing Director of Hoverspeed, a division of SeaStreak's parent company Sea Container based in the UK. Mr. Ede attempted to make nice with SeaStreak passengers after the second fare increase in 5 months by offering a free round-trip peak ticket for every 40-trip book bought in June. The free-ticket offer was to make up for not giving commuters ample notice to purchase a monthly book before the new fares went into effect. Whoop-dee-doo. Mr. Ede wrote:

I am aware that many of you are unhappy with the fact that the recent price increase was communicated to you with no more than a two-day notice to purchase your ticket books at current prices.

Sea Containers pride themselves on a superior level of customer service and this short notice did not live up to the company's expectations of how our valued passengers should be treated.
In order to make amends for our shortcomings, I would like to offer all our passengers who purchase a 40-trip ticket book during the month of June a complimentary peak round trip ticket. This should make up the difference of the increased monthly book price for the month of June.

I invite Mr. Ede to take a trip across the pond to chat with passengers about SeaStreak's customer service. Sea Containers may pride themselves on their "superior level of customer service" but they certainly can't pride themselves on internal corporate communications - riders have been complaining about SeaStreak management for years. Perhaps Mr. Ede will take me up on my invitation. I've seen a few UK-based ISPs visiting the AH Muse for a couple of weeks now - whoever you are maybe you can talk to Mr. Ede and tell him to hop on a plane one of these days to chat with his valued customers.

Ede goes on in his letter to inform us that "SeaStreak is working on a number of on-board improvements that will enhance your trip and you will see these launched this summer." I can’t wait!

If you didn’t detect the sarcasm of that last line you may have injured the prefrontal lobes of your brain.

Check out what's going on in the Jersey blogosphere at The Carnival of The New Jersey Bloggers. I've always wanted to be carney folk! Woo-hoo!

Don't forget that this Thursday all your friends and neighbors will be at the Fireman's Fieldhouse for a Q&A session with the engineers hired by the NJ DOT to present plans to redevelop the harbor. I hear that either Jerry Springer or Vince McMahon will be emceeing.

Shaggy, Scooby and I solved the mystery of Bel Vesuvio. All it took was some Scooby snacks and a phone call. Look for Bella's to open this June. As described to me, Bella's will be a bistro style restaurant with a raw bar. Mmmmm...raw bar. Ciao Bella's!

Now if we could only get a decent pub in town.

Mmmmm...pub.

I'm About To Find What I'm Looking For

2005-05-17T22:34:00.000-05:00

The countdown is on! U2 at the ~~Brendan Byrne~~ Continental Arena! May 18th! It's Guinness time!

Speaking of U2, Jersey blogger ShoreThing ran into Bono in an elevator today. How effing cool is that! And speaking of running into Bono, Mrs. Muse and I like to play a version of lottery fantasy called "Let's have Bono over for dinner." It's a game where we pretend how exactly we happen to run into Bono and just how cool he thinks we are. Well one thing leads to another and we say, hey Bono, how about coming over for dinner? Nothing fancy. And he says sure and we have some steamers, beer and burgers and we proceed to hang out and become lifelong friends. Usually my wife throws in a part about him strumming a few acoustic tunes and serenading her and I have a part where we go shoot pool a dive bar.

We're not too excited for the show tomorrow.

As I'm boycotting Seastreak this week I can't tell if the "rideout" has been successful so far or not. I do know that there are a lot people searching the Internets for "seastreak boycott" and "boycott seastreak" and "seastreak protest" and they are landing at the AH Muse. So, if anything a statement has been made, even if only by me and a few others (hopefully about 100). Seastreak won't get my $1.50 for the liquefied product which has been injected with caffeine (aka "coffee"), or my $6 for a plastic container of beer, or my $6 for what amounts to an ever so small and teasing tiny swig of scotch. At least this week damnit.

While I'm not happy with the fare increase, it's Seastreak's complete lack of customer service that I'm boycotting the most, as are most people. (Hmmm...can you boycott something that's lacking or doesn't exist?) The idea (obviously) is not to run Seastreak out of business but to make them actually write a business plan, think strategically and long term and to stop screwing Monmouth County riders. Anyway, steady I say.

Did I mention how the coffee sucks, and how a good number of boats are consistently late and how they'll hold a boat if a woman running in heels yells "wait" but when I'm running and yelling "oh for the love of God please wait and I shall present you with riches and rare treasures more wild than you could ever imagine" the crew pretty much waves to me, smiles, and says bon voyage? Steady. Indeed, you #$%&*@ stupid #$%&!#.

Comedy, conspiracy theories, love, learning and even campfire songs...it's all on the Atlantic Highlands Herald Forums.

Let's Play Jeoporady!

2005-05-16T22:12:00.000-05:00

A: The Bayshore Courier
(I'll wager it all Alex)
Q: What is the worst newspaper ever in the history of newspapers?
(correct answer!)

Here's a sick case of yellow journalism. For the past two weeks the Courier has featured the efforts of local police, especially Keansburg, and their efforts to combat local pedophiles. Can't argue with that. However, then the Courier exploits the case of Megan Kanka, the seven-year-old whom Megan's Law was named after, by using it an an ~~elaborate~~ stupid scheme to try and tell people that Assemblyman Joseph Azzolina's political rival, Freeholder Amy Handlin, is "quiet on anti-pedophile bill support." (Of course you know that Azzolina owns the paper).

Here's what the Courier has to say about Handlin:

Meanwhile, Handlin has refused to state her position on the anti-pedophile legislation. She did not return calls placed to her office by press time, asking if she would support this legislation if she is elected to the Assembly in the fall.

Azzolina did not respond to his rival's failure to comment on the legislation.

So, Handlin did not return a phone call from the Courier (who could blame her) and the Courier goes and drums up the headline Handlin is Quiet on Anti-Pedophile Bill Support. But the best part is that Azzolina is the bigger person here because doesn't feel the need to respond to his "rival's failure to comment," and apparently implied position of being pro-pedophile.

He doesn't need to comment, he lets his dirty paper do the dirty work as witnessed by the fact that the Handlin story was on inside front cover of the newspaper last week (with the lead story about combating pedophiles on the cover) and that the Courier website has the Handlin article on the homepage. Because she didn't return their phone call.

Are these people serious?

Support local art and go see Invasion for Flesh and Blood.

So it was Day One of the Seastreak Defectors' Boycott. Anyone ride the boat today? Notice any more available seats?

Rock 'N Roll?

2005-05-11T16:30:00.000-05:00

The PNC Arts Center will be rocking this summer. That is if they add rocking chairs on the lawn and stage for all the old people playing and buying tickets.

6/04: Stevie Nicks and Don Henley/Free admission if you were a black cape
6/10: Judas Priest/I’m your turbo lover/better run for cover/no kidding
6/14: Santana/Hey, he's cool
6/18: Steve Miller/Abra-abra-cadabra/I want to reach out and whack ya
6/22: Tom Petty/Yeah, I got a soft spot for him
6/25: James Taylor/Sponsored by Ambien
7/01: Earth, Wind and Fire/Sure, get your groove on
7/16: Johnny Cougar Mellencamp and John Fogerty/Oooh, wild nights are callin'...
7/23: Another freakin' Evening with Loggins and Messina/Sponsored by Viagra
7/26: OZZFEST featuring Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden/What happened to the no more tours tour?
7/30: Duran Duran/Over over
8/06: Donna Summer/Dunno
8/12: Brian Wilson/Want to know how to get a lot of people really angry? Tell them the Beach Boys were overrated
8/14: Motley Crue/Crue, don't go away mad/crue just go away
8/23: The Allman Brothers/I can dig it
8/24: Megadeath/Megasucks
8/26: Journey/(ed) to my garbage can about 15 years ago
8/27: Meatloaf/I would do anything for love, but won't go to a Meatloaf concert
8/29: Alice Cooper and Cheap Trick/I want you to write another hit
8/30: Daryl Hall & Johnny Oates (with Tears for Fears)/I don't go for that, noooo

I feel bad for the kids. What do they get to see? Jack Johnson and Avril Lavigne? Is the state of rock n' roll and pop music in general so sorry that PNC can't sell out a few shows that appeal to people who listen to new music? Do local officials not want to deal with rowdy crowds so PNC is forced to book acts whose fans will probably nod off toward the end of the concert? Do ticket prices need to be so expensive that PNC is forced to book acts that appeal to people with "disposable income?"

I've seen some great shows at PNC, including some classic rock bands. But I also saw some contemporary acts, for lack of a better term. It's a great venue, and I have a lot of fond memories of tailgating and seeing some great shows, but PNC has become one of the last exits before you hit rock n' roll oblivion.

Some people are trying to save the Stone Pony from rock n' roll oblivion or, worse, demolition as it was named a New Jersey Endangered Historic Site.

So, speaking of sex, drugs and rock n' roll - don't miss tonight's Borough Council meeting.

Where none of that fun stuff will be happening.

At least not on the dais.

Bau-chica-bau-bau.

You Talkin' To Me?

2005-05-09T19:36:00.000-05:00

So the Chairperson of the Harbor Commission, Helen Marchetti, wrote to the AH Herald to "set the record straight" on the rebel band of commissioners who wrote to the NJ DOT criticizing the proposals re: harbor redevelopment (without seeking debate or consensus with the rest of the harbor commission). She wanted to make sure that residents understood that these three commissioners had not formed an ad-hoc committee and were not narrow minded in their criticisms but rather were simply part of a "special committee" that handles these types of things. To which I replied on the AH Forums, "well, isn't that...special." And in return I get, "Why don't you go back to the place you made better when you left!" Which, judging from the fact that an exclamation point was used rather than question mark means this was not a question but fightin' words. Kind of like when you ~~ask~~ tell someone "why don't you take a stick and shove it up your @$$!?" Sheesh. Not only will I need lightly buttered popcorn and some cold brewskis for the NJDOT meeting on 5/26 but now I'm being forced to schedule a consultation with Trachel Inc. to organize my security detail. Which is just as well as the carney folk are coming soon and we need to come up with a game plan to secure the town.

Meet Assemblyman Sean T. Kean Tuesday, May 10th at Borough Hall @ 7:00 pm.

Our town webmaster has outdone him/herself this time. Click here to visit the homepage and then read the IMPORTANT EVENTS.

I encourage anyone who reads the AH Muse and commutes to NYC on Seastreak to consider boycotting Seastreak the week of 5/16. I know any change to your commuting schedule is a bummer but even if Seastreak doesn't feel a financial pinch for a week's worth of not riding you can at least make a symbolic gesture. The company suffers from unbelievably incompetent management and will continue to raise fares regularly while continuing to cut service as long as they feel they can get away with it. I know there is some good support behind the boycott effort and more updates will be posted tomorrow. I also know that "seastreak boycott" is a pretty popular search term on Yahoo and Google these days as the Muse has seen a big bump in website traffic from people using search engines and ending up on the site.

Read Lynn Azzolina's restaurant review Gianni's: Exotic Creative Italian Cuisine in Cozy Ambiance. Sounds pretty tasty, anyone know where Gianni's is? Is it the sister restaurant to Gianna's? In the review, Chef John Mandica decided to mix it up with Julia's by saying, "I'm no chef of the stars but I provide my guests with quality, quantity, and authentic Italian cooking." Let's see how the Julia's crew responds. Maybe John Valentin will show Mandica that he's still got a pretty good swing with his Louisville Slugger.

Harbor Enlightenment

2005-05-04T21:52:00.000-05:00

Get thee to the Firemen's Fieldhouse at 4 p.m., Thursday, May 26th. McCormick-Taylor, the engineers commissioned by the New Jersey Dept. of Transportation to study our harbor and come up with some redevelopment plans will be holding a ~~steel cage match~~ Q&A session for residents re: the three plans presented a couple of weeks ago. Boy am I going to need a tubby of popcorn and 12-pack for this one. There will also be a survey for residents to fill out. Am I the only person who loves filling out surveys?

Congratulations are in order to Atlantic Highlands Elementary School Superintendent/Principal Martha H. Wallauer, who has announced her retirement. Not only did Marty, as she's apparently known, spend her entire 33 year career at AHES, beginning as a kindergarten teacher but she also attended AHES as a student. All that time spent in one building has apparently had a couple of negative effects on Marty as she has a fondness for the color purple (which by her request is featured throughout the new addition to the school) and she's moving to Florida.

Anyone else hear that we're losing the Bel Vesuvio pizzeria and gaining an oyster bar? It's true. And that Scenic Liquors was sold to KFC? That's a lie, relax ya stewhounds.

I usually drink my beer straight from a growler but on those occasions when I enjoy a bubbly Chimay ~~I know~~ my wife tells me to use a wine glass. She's right. The Beerman confirmed it for me.

The pirates at Seastreak are stealing more of my booty again. Click here if you want join the boycott.

PSA: Seastreak Boycott

2005-05-04T21:04:00.000-05:00

From : pedersen@att.net
Sent : Wednesday, May 4, 2005 10:05 AM
Subject : Seastreak walkout updates:

Dear Seastreak Defectors:

A couple of updates: The walkout is the week of May 16th - it was earlier stated the 17th.. we apologize for the confusion - The target date is going to stay the 17th- Make sure you let people know. We need to get as many supporters as possible - so please let people know on your boats and have them email us at to show their support and to get on the email list and so we can measure who is actually doing this.

Also, I've gotten complaints from my co-workers that regularly ride the NY Waterway boats that the "Damn Seastreakers are there already and taking up all the parking" - if people are defecting early because of ticket books running out, make sure you email Seastreak and let them know you've left and why. The email address is: joanne.conroy@seastreak.com also cc: ferryfriends@hotmail.com as they are posting letters on their website and filtering letters to the press. Also bcc us: seastreak_defectors@att.net. Also note that the lot is getting fuller, so you might want to try to be on a boat before 8 AM.

For you eloquent letter writers feel free to CC: Asbury Park Press: rbergmann@app.com.
So far no response from Seastreak on the increase, and we're talking to NYWW about different incentives for former Seastreak riders. NYWW seems more open to discussing things than Seastreak.

Thanks for the support and see you in Belford!

Wassssupppp?

2005-05-03T22:13:00.000-05:00

First I'd like to thank Ed Kelley for taking over the AH Muse last week while I was enjoying sunny San Diego with my family. While I didn't stay completely out of the loop thanks to the amazing Internets, I did miss out on quite a bit of chatter and, apparently, the "official" start of the campaigning system.

Obviously, the hot topic is the harbor. In order to put all the pieces to the puzzle together I'm going to need to schedule a visit to Borough Hall to view the town's master plan and how the NJDOT presentation from a couple of weeks ago fits into it. Between the NJDOT's large files, the mater plan's sketchy renditions online and all the bickering on the AH Herald Forums I've no idea what's going on or where to start to form an opinion. I will say this again - the harbor and the borough are one in the same and people need to start thinking that way. Our little band of musketeers on the Harbor Commission and their cuneiform letter (page 1 and page 2) to the NJDOT is just as ridiculous as before I left on vacation. I remember learning something called constructive criticism when I was in kindergarten - the chiseled stone tablet they submitted is all criticism and nothing constructive. In the coming days I hope to dissect this ridiculous letter point by point, or maybe I'll just simply ignore it because the whole saga is annoying and silly.

I'm sure I'll have much more to say after my field trip to Borough Hall on the future of our town. Right now I gotta find a copy of last week's Bayshore Courier so I can see what the controversy about Mayor Donoghue's column is all about. I also need to catch up on the progress Bishop Gordon is making on ridding the world of all those crazy Marxists here in New Jersey and beyond.

In defense of the Old Guard

2005-04-30T17:29:00.000-05:00

By Ed Kelley

In my last blog was I a bit harsh on some long standing residents of town and their spirited efforts to oppose the three DOT concepts submitted for review to the Borough Council? Yes. Is their opposition to the concepts wrong? No, not in my opinion, debate is always healthy. Should they have formed an ad hoc committee and published a list of objections in their official capacities without first presenting it to the rest of the Commission? No. They should have followed a better protocol.

As a history buff the phrase the Old Guard conjures images of the bearded Grizzled Veterans of Napoleon’s Old Guard charging Wellington’s Center at Waterloo and failing to break the “Thin Red Line.” The Old Guard in AH is equally valiant (though not all bearded) and committed to preserving the Atlantic Highlands that they grew up in. Can they? Should they? Can you stop progress? Is there a halfway point?

I have accused the Old Guard of being self-interested, and I believe they are. Mind you not in a pecuniary sort of way these are clearly dedicated and honorable people by most accounts (hearsay perhaps but their actions and commitment are legendary and in some cases self-evident). Their self interest lies in the form of not wanting to see too much change. They are self-interested to the extent that they see that which they have wrought, through personal diligence sweat and labor, as the best possible outcome.

Not all progress is good. The insatiable hounds of Development are baying at the gates of the borough. Developers are greedily eyeing our waterfront. Does the Old Guard think they can save the day? I hope they can. Does the Young Guard think that they have all the answers? That only they can chart a safe course through the shoals and rocks that crowd the uncharted waters of future development without the advice and wise council of those that have been there before? I hope they are not so foolish. Old and New need each other.

I think the one thing Old and New should agree on is that standing still is not an option. Further it is fair to assume that both old and new do not want the Developers to build luxury dwelling boxes on the Bay Shore and rob our children and residents of the bay views. Where the conflict occurs is what to do with the existing Harbor.

In Defense of the Old Guard the Harbor is well run and magnificent in many respects. The members of the ad hoc committee should be proud of their accomplishments in bringing the Harbor to where it is today. The Harbor contributes revenue to the town and does a great service to boaters, fisherman and commuters alike.

I will close with this. Is the Harbor doing all it can do for the residents of the town in terms of sharing the waterfront?

Harbor Debate

2005-04-27T20:34:00.000-05:00

By Ed Kelley

So the debate begins anew.

The last election cycle pitted the Reforming Crusader Democrats against the Old Guard Republicans. One of the Democratic Slogans was "No Harbor Expansion Without a Referendum" Now some of the Old Guard are crying foul! Is this justified? Well lets look at the chronology of what has happened so far and you can decide for yourself.

Last year there were several meetings of the Harbor Advisory Committee at which they discussed the Harbor and the results of a town wide survey. They came up with a laundry list of suggestions.

Earlier this year, on several occasions, the Mayor affirmed his commitment to a referendum.

On April 13th the State's DOT engineers, after consulting with the Town presented three "Concepts" for the town to consider for future Harbor development. As I understand it, these are "concepts" that will be used to initiate discussion and not final plans. These concepts will be shared with the public for comments at a public hearing to be held in May.

On April 15th some of "the Old Guard" published their critique of the Concepts. The sum and substance of their critique: "None of the concepts work. Just to add some parking and leave everything else unchanged." It is important to note that these were individuals acting as a private citizens though they claimed "color of authority" by including their Harbor related titles and stating they held a formal meeting. They are apparently not a formal committee of the Harbor Commission as they might have one believe. No such committee exists. I trust the town will accord this document no more importance than it would my own letter of protest based on my review of the concepts. These are merely the ramblings of concerned (self-interested) citizens, but nothing more. That they chose to act as individuals is a breach of proper procedure by these Commission Members. This letter should have been discussed at the next Commission Meeting and made a part of the Official Record of the Harbor Commission. The Harbor Commission as a whole could review and comment on the critique and forward it as agreed onto the Harbor Development Committee and the Town Council for formal consideration. If the Harbor Commission consensus was to table the letter, it it should not have never seen the light of day. This letter speaks volumes about the personal agenda of these four individuals. They do not take their roles as public servants seriously enough to follow the correct procedures. Choosing to follow the rules when it suits them and discard them when they do not like them. There is a multi-member, politically appointed, commission for a reason, it has something to do with the democratic (small "d") process.

Where do we go from here? Presumably after the May public meeting a concept will be selected (or not) and perhaps modified based on public comment, including, perhaps, the aforementioned letter. At this point there will be further review by the Harbor Advisory Committee and Town Council. The comments of the Entire Harbor Commission, the Planning Board and the Environmental Commission as well should be sought at this stage to ensure that nothing was overlooked. These final comments should be sent to DOT and a formal proposal should follow. Once the Proposal is formalized there should be a final Public Hearing and ultimately a Town-Wide Referendum.

So have the Democrats lived up to their pledge. Time will tell.

The Fundamentals

2005-04-25T10:08:00.000-05:00

By Ed Kelley

My first opinions of the Atlantic Highlands Municipal Harbor were arrived at from the perspective of a commuter and not a resident. Those opinions have evolved. Now I look at the Harbor from the perspective of a taxpaying resident and someone that is anxious to see our quality of life continues to improve and that our stature as a community in Northern Monmouth County continues to elevate. Here is my opinion on where the debate starts:

What does the average commuter want from Atlantic Highlands Municipal Harbor? Convenient well marked parking, shelter from the weather while waiting for the boats to arrive, and rapid access to/egress from the parking area and the town of Atlantic Highlands in general. Maybe some commuters would like a place to get a paper or a cup of coffee and a roll on the way to the harbor or at the harbor itself.

What does a boater want? Inexpensive docking/storage, a place to get last minute needs such as bait and fishing tackle, beverages and snacks and fuel. They also want convenient parking and waste receptacles and perhaps a place to grab some food and drink after a day on the water while they wait out the weekend traffic. They, like the commuter, want rapid access to/egress from the parking area and the town of Atlantic Highlands in general when the time comes.

What does a resident want? A place where they can walk/cycle/jog and enjoy the bay front without dodging speeding visitors cars. A place where a family can grab an affordable meal along the water? Many residents want the ability for residents to shop and walk downtown without worrying about speeders on First Avenue. Many residents want a Municipal Harbor that contributes more generously to the town economy. Many want a harbor that accommodates a little kid that wants to crab or fish without having to walk across a snarl of hoses or electrical cords. Is it too much to ask for a harbor where the green space is closest to the water and the parking is set back? A common wish I hear expressed is some parking reserved for residents.

Can we accommodate all these interests? Are the interests that divergent that no compromise is possible? Did I miss something?

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue

2005-04-24T12:00:00.000-05:00

Something old: this article published in the Red Bank Register, November 2, 1939.
Something new: this week's guest host Ed Kelley.
Something borrowed: this phrase
Something blue: the San Diego sky

The AH Muse editor and the family unit touched down in sunny San Diego yesterday for some R and R with a little R (rest, relaxation and running around from zoos to parks to beaches to family).

Something New

2005-04-24T11:39:00.000-05:00

Let's give a warm welcome to Ed Kelley, the AH Muse guest host this week. I tip my hat to the Beerman and say, cheers!

By Ed Kelley

I hail from the Atlantic Highlands. My family and I have lived here 19 months. One of the reasons we chose this lovely little town was the High Speed ferry to Wall Street, another was the 1896 Victorian home that we just had to have. Real Estate prices on the East Coast are essentially unreal, but at the time AH was more affordable than anything we saw in Northern Jersey and more commutable than just about anywhere in the entire state. I walk a half of a mile to the boat which takes 35 minutes or less to reach Wall Street and then walk another quarter of a mile to the Office.

My wife and I are active in the town. She is a Girl Scout leader, actively involved in the PTO and a member of the School Board. I am active in two scouting units, and have submitted a resume' to sit on the local Planning Board.

We enjoy the Coast, and find Sandy Hook an irresistible draw year round, time and weather permitting. Before living here we lived in Overland Park, Kansas for nine years, prior to that we lived in Glen Rock, New Jersey. My wife was born in Jersey and I was born in New York. We have three children in the Atlantic Highlands Schools. In short we love it here and we are settling in for the long haul.

Our little town of 4800 people is at a crossroads. My Blogs this week will mainly talk about a "Newbies" perspectives on what he sees now and what he feels could be done to face and embrace the change that is coming. There are those that may agree and those that may disagree. Discussion is a good way to test the validity of your theories. If you have a suggestion I would love to hear it.

Something Old

2005-04-24T11:00:00.000-05:00

The speech below was published in the Red Bank Register on 11/2/1939. I'm posting it because it shows the enormous vision, perseverance and hard work that first made our harbor become a reality. I think we're reaching a very real crossroads with the harbor today and I hope our residents and elected officials can work with the same character, spirit and vision of the men and women mentioned below. Perhaps 70 years from now residents of AH will look back on us and appreciate the vision and hard work that kept our harbor profitable and efficient but more than just a strip-mall parking lot on the water.

Thanks to Jacquie Jones for the research and re-keying of this article.

"Speech Given By Earl Snyder At Log Cabin Inn"
as published in the Red Bank Register, November 2, 1939

Mr. Toastmaster, Honored Guests, Friends:

I am very deeply appreciative of the many kind remarks that have been made about me this evening. I feel this is one occasion which has made all the effort which I have expended for this great public improvement - our breakwater and harbor in Sandy Hook Bay - well worth the while, and I will continue to put forth my best efforts to make this one of the most important improvements to New Jersey waterways while I am able to do so.

It would be highly improper for me to leave any impression that I am the most important factor in this improvement. I am well aware that the chairmanship of the Harbor Control board carries with it many responsibilities but I have been very fortunate in having on this board as associates a group of capable men, whose names you know, who have worked with me in complete harmony and without whose aid accomplishment would have been difficult if not impossible. Our board has also been favored by the assistance of many friends in high places in the political life of our borough, county and state. To make mention of a few would be to leave out many. To name only men would be to leave out many women who have been unstinting in their help and encouragement, (I hope before this dinner closes some personal mention and recognition can be given to those who have assisted, excusing any omissions as purely unintentional), I wish to express to all my personal gratitude and thanks as well as that of my committee. Without such widespread co-operation there would have been no cause for a Victory celebration tonight.

It might be interesting to those here tonight to listen to a brief review of the kaleidoscopic events marking the history of the harbor. To be accurate it is necessary to refer to this paper I hold. I will try to be quick and ask you to bear with me. I read from the Atlantic Highlands Journal an item appearing ten years ago in September.

"The yacht harbor project was revied at a meeting of the Atlantic Highlands Lions club. Mr. William Friedlaender, a guest, told members of his plan which was to provide the needed breakwater by sinking a row of obsolete ships. After some discussion, Lions Snyder, Tumen, McVey, Orth, Sculthorp and Dender were appointed by President Frank Baldwin as a special committee to push the enterprise along."

The ships mentioned were wartime abandoned boats of the Merchant Marine anchored up the Hudson river, which could have been bought cheaply - if we knew where to getthe money. The meeting was in this very Log Cabin Inn, I believe. If you remember October, 1929, the financial world began to crumble. This committee had a poor startbut, never the less, by the fall of 1931 plans were ready for a wooden piling breakwater 2,400 feet long, crescent shaped, commencing in much the same location as at present, to cost $70,000. Legislators were dined at Trenton and a bill appropriating $35,000 bythe state was introduced February, 1932 (A120) by Assemblyman Howard Height. Thereon McCampbell was his colleague and Donald Sterner was state senator. This wasa good bill and it ought to have passed - but it didn't.

Election that year brought in the New Deal and eventually the big money - PWA. By December of 1933, with the splendid support of local and county newspapers, enthusiasm ran high for a PWA project; mass meetings were held, straw ballots indicted better than 95% were favorable and Mayor John R. Snedeker and his council endorsed harbor plans and the project application was ordered filed after considerable oppositionin debate. This time two Islands were to be pumped up in the bay, protected by steelpilling. A pier for boats was to extend from near First avenue. The project was self-sustaining and cost $250,000, of which the government would give $75,000 or 30% and would loan $175,000 - 70%. The War Department engineers had granted a permit for such an improvement, and have several times since renewed permits to construct a harbor or refuge the last of which permits expires December 31, this year. Not familiarwith PWA routine then - and still not familiar with it - we permitted the application towind its way through local directors, regional directors, state directors and a number ofnational directors or executives until we almost lost track of it. Eventually we found that it had received every consideration but that the project was too large financially for a municipality of our finances to undertake. Then PWA had its first ending. Meantime we learned of the National Rivers and Harbors congress - a national body with headquarters at the national capitol. actively supporting worthwhile projects. We placed our needs before them and received wonderful support. An organization like that for New Jersey will help put New Jersey on the waterway maps. We were the first year classed "meritorious," next year "recommended for survey" the following session "approved forimmediate construction." This body had its grasp on national, worth-while waterway affairs. We were fortunate and thankful to have their aid.

By 1935 a preliminary survey of sites in Sandy Hook bay for a harbor of refuge were begun by the Second New York District Army Engineers, resulting in the selection of the present site. Congress that year included $15,000 in the Rivers and Harbors appropriation bill for a survey of the site and a complete report. On January 15, 1936,was the memorable hearing of the War Department engineers in our borough hall - and the commencement in a very real way of the present outcome, with the many thrills, narrow escapes and exciting episodes to maintain interest at top speed.

Our second attempt with PWA when again revived earlier in the previous year, 1935, resulted as before in a declination, this time on the grounds that the engineering revealedthat the life of the project was estimated to be less than the period of financing, henceimpractical. It was as good an excuse as could be made - we still didn't know our wayaround - so we were very glad, indeed, to eventually have the Army Engineers Corpsrealize that we really had something - and there was no fooling from that point on.

I, and the others of my board, have never met or planned affairs with any men so courteous and agreeable to associate with as the officers and civilian personnel of the New York district office of the Army engineers - and the division office in New York and the Army Board at Washington have also at all times been most obliging. We submitted to them our harbor plans, now slightly enlarged to cost $325,000, with steelpiling breakwater and suitable piers for shore facilities. Asked what local co-operationwe could offer we met another delicate financial situation by stating that we believed itpossible to contribute 25% or $81,250 in cash and later as the harbor developed to undertake another $68,750 concurrently over a period of time for inshore facilities and landing piers to make the local total at least $150,000.

We trembled lest this would not be acceptable, as in most rivers and harbor improvements the local share required is at least 50%. When this proportion was found acceptable we really had some trembling to do to round up the $150,000. We wasted notime. Frank Durand, senator in 1936, offered senate bill No. 87 in February of that year, asking for $150,000. The bill died in committee. In 1937 while Frank Durand was president of the senate, Senator Loizeaux introduced for him senate bill No. 132 authorizing the Board of Commerce and Navigation to cnstruct the harbor and approved the expenditure of $150,000 for that purpose to become available when the Federal government had appropriated not less than $243,750 to make a breakwater to cost$325,000 - and when the state included this appropriation in any appropriation bill. That was the joker - an authorization bill with no actual appropriation included.

It passed the senate and was sponsored in the assembly by Assemblymen Irwin and Proctor. Proctor now state senator from Monmouth, Session after session we tramped to Trenton to move the bill on the calendar for action but without success because ofassembly bills in the senate being held up, causing a jam in both branches which it seemed could not be broken.

Finally, on the last day before adjournment, and as the last bill considered by the assembly the bill was brought to roll call - failed of the required votes, was recalled before a brief recess during which there was much activity seeking the necessary votes, particularly so on the part of Assemblyman Morris Cohen, our Hudson county neighborfrom Leonardo, and when the session reconvened the assembly considered only this one bill and the bill was passed with much jubilation in the closing minutes of the legislative year.

There was real celebration that night in the Stacey Trent. The bill became Chapter 91, Laws of 1937, the district engineers and Army Board were deciding that $325,000 wouldnot be adequate for a harbor. The district office recommended $423,750, the division office recommended $792,000, and the Army Board finally approved $850,000 forbreakwater and dredging with $6,000 additional annually for maintenance, provided local interests would contribute $81,250 of the $850,00 and $68,750 additional for shoreand landing facilities to make local cooperation total $150,000 - a total with the first annual maintenance included of nearly $925,000. And that is the way the harbor is beingbuilt today - a 4,000-foot continuous rubble mound stone breakwater, 2,000 feet from shore, with dredging in the area to a minimum depth of eight feet at low tide near the shore (almost 14 feet near the breakwater), with piers and bulkheads, parking and othershore facilities that will make the harbor one of the finest and most useful anywhere to befound.

This approved harbor item was added to the House River and Harbors authorization bill through the senate commerce committee, as the bill had already left the house and with the aid and assistance at various times of United States Senator W. Warren Barbour earlier, then later Governor Moore, at that time a United States senator, and Congressman Sutphin, the item was kept in the bill to be appropriated in regular routine in 1938 in the bill which President Roosevelt signed into law - and the money became ready for use July 1, 1938, on deposit in New York.

It was while returning from a national Rivers and Harbors congress which members of our board attended in Washington in January, 19-- that Victor Gelineau, director of the Board of Commerce and Navigation, suddenly died. He was a very helpful and good friend to us all and to this project. He is very much missed by everyone.

To raise the $150,000 Senator Durand in 1938 offered Senate Bill No. 415 after a sudden economy move, stripped all appropriations other than for pure governmental purposes from the state appropriation bill, even though the committee had earlier approved the inclusion of $150,000 by a majority vote. The special bill failed when the assembly caucus refused to consider any special appropriations however meritorious. This left us rather glum. The Federal money was ready in July, 1938, and we were forced to wait for the next legislature.

Without waiting we applied again to PWA for a loan and grant in August, 1938, totaling over $154,000. The present Mayor Reed and councilmen approved the application and the new state agency, the local government board recognized the emergency, but by December the PWA Funds were exhausted again and our application was denied on the grounds that one Federal agency could not financially implement another Federal agency on the same or overlapping projects. Just one more discouragement but not enough to beat us.

The late County Clerk Raymond Wyckoff, the director of the board of freeholders, another warrior in the cause who has since passed on, was successful with County attorney Howard Roberts, our toastmaster this evening, in having the county make available to Atlantic Highlands $25,000 to go with the $44,000 which the borough agreed to bond itself to raise making $69,000 of the required $150,000 and we again turned to our legislators in Trenton for the balance of $81,250.

With state assistance in view the War Department engineers released their requirement to have the local assistance ready by September 30, 1938, and extended the limit to January 31, 1939 - seven months past the date their appropriation was ready. The state legislature again convened in January, 1939 - less than 30 days before the limit expired. Our Hon. Harold McDermott, assemblyman from Monmouth with us tonight, ably assisted by his colleague, the Hon. Stanley Herbert, also here, immediately introduced assembly bill No. 99 appropriating $81,250 to the harbor.

As the time was short we appealed to the Army Board through Senator W. Warren Barbour and Congressman D. Lane Power for a further 90-day extension of the limit and through their courtesy and valuable aid received a final extension to March 31, 1939. There was no time to waste. Delay after delay of the appropriation committee through sickness and change of hearing dates postponed their approval which we did eventually get by a record majority vote. Where the money was coming from, with relief matters from 1938 and for 1939, pending legislative action and a pledge for no new taxes or any bond issues left our supporters in a quandary.

Pressure was brought for a vote on the bill. The assembly caucus would consider no appropriations before the regular appropriation bill in June, they said. By insistence, however, our assemblymen broke the caucus rule and were allowed to bring the bill to avote provided the money could come from the State Highway fund. This was a fat one designed to knock the bill into a cocked hat and cut out further appropriation demands. Our project well advertised, however was too well known by now, too important to the state to lose and our former Monmouth legislator, the present State Highway commissioner, the Hon. E. Donald Sterner, stood out like a Minute Man and acceded the funds from his department for the appropriation.

The bill on the floor was the subject of lively debate, but passed the assembly by a large majority. Once again the followers from Monmouth had cause to celebrate. The following week Senator Proctor received the bill in the senate and it was voted under a suspension rules without being referred to committee, passing on roll call after a lively debate. The votes were no more than enough - but enough to make history and the bill was signed into law by Governor Moore March 29, 1939 - just two days before the expiration of the deadline. No project could have had a more exciting career - and that there were any objections locally among property owners bordering the project in giving their waivers to riparian right is regrettable and largely due to being not fully aware of the magnitude and benefits of the harbor project.

I am sorry that I have taken so much of your time but the harbor is the one thing closest to myself and I hope my relating of the history will in some way add to the pleasure and enjoyment you will derive from this great public improvement.

I again for myself and for the members of the Harbor Control board want to thank you all for your splendid all-around support which has made this occasion possible and I wish to assure you that I will do everything within my power to insure the future successful operation of the harbor.

Coup d’état

2005-04-19T21:45:00.000-05:00

It's always fun to check out the blog logs to see just how people come across the AH Muse. First of all I'd like to thank Julia's restaurant for opening with such big local buzz. Google and Yahoo have been hot with searches for Julia's and the search engines have been pointing people to the Muse. I'll also say this: boat people get ready there're bennies coming, they don't have monthly books they just get onboard.

And act annoying on their cell phones. Searches for Seastreak are up, uP, UP.

And to the person who searched for "capt giggles + atlantic highlands," you can email me here.

Enough fun and games. There's some serious business to attend to folks. The New Jersey Department of Transportation (NJDOT) presented some findings and proposals last Wednesday at a workshop meeting at Borough Hall. The presentation and history of the project can be downloaded here: ftp://NJDOT-AH:Atlantic@ftp.mccormicktaylor.com. Note: I had some problems downloading a few of the PDFs so you might want to save yourself the aggravation and just go to Borough Hall where they're on display.

I haven't had a chance to study the recommendations myself but apparently they must be controversial as a rebel band of current and former Harbor Commissioners (three in all I'm told) seem to be involved in a coup d’état. These Commissioners have not so secretly written the NJDOT claiming that our harbor ain't broke so don't try to fix it. This wannabe junta, comprised of the current Chairperson, a former Chairperson and a former Vice Chairperson, did not discuss the presentation (or their intent to write the NJDOT) with the balance of the Harbor Commission until after the letters had been submitted.

So what we have here is yet another example of some people on the Harbor Commission acting as if the town's harbor is their own little fiefdom. Fine. Prepare my steed, get me a dozen stout men and please procure my war paint cause I'm done gonna get all Braveheart on dem coup da dottin commission @%%&*#!%.

THEY MAY TAKE OUR LIVES BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!!!

Ok. I feel better now. That was a combination of complete frustration with idiots and excited anticipation of an upcoming week's vacation. It's like drinking tequila at a dive bar in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Anyway...These renegades are wrong about their harbor not being broken and the Chairperson was wrong to write these letters without discussing the NJDOT presentation with the Harbor Commission first. Let's all share the harbor and let's all share in the tax benefits (among many others) that can come with stronger vision, better management and overall less wrongness. As the story continues to develop I'll continue to update you on how wrong these folks are for the harbor and our town.

Thursday I Don't Care About You...

2005-04-14T12:30:00.000-05:00

Well, I do a little bit, I'm just quoting Mr. Robert Smith for lack of a better title.

Let's start with some additions to your right. Some new blogs/websites have been added to the list. Check them out at your leisure:

Wikipedia/New Jersey: A fascinating new trend in online information. Updated by citizens like you and me, Wikipedia is an ever evolving encyclopedia on just about anything you can think of.
Jon Corzine campaign blog: They pay you to look at this blog. I've made thousands already.
Shamrocketship: Local blogger from Red Bank with a potpourri of posts and topics.
Red Bank Journal: Shamrocketship on a local scale.
Musings on Malt: Atlantic Highlands' very own Beerman serves up tasty tidbits blogging on brewskis.

I'm not the only one who thought Napoleon Dynamite was the best movie ever (last year). The Idaho Legislature just passed a resolution declaring how wonderful the movie was. What the hell does our legislature do? Nit pick over whether a tomato is a fruit or vegetable? How about we start with Mallrats and work our way through the Kevin Smith canon? [via Gothamist]

Man can Red Bank be a buzzkill. And I'm not talking about some Eurotrash wannabe cutting you off at the bar at Red. Now that spring has arrived you must cease all activities of the fun variety or beware of Jonny Law.

No jaywalking or walking outside of the crosswalk.
Rollerblading and skateboarding are prohibited in "the downtown area, all major thoroughfares, parks, parking lots and any public or quasi-public place."
A curfew will also be in effect from 10:30 p.m. to 6 a.m. Sunday through Thursday, and from midnight to 6 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, for all persons under the age of 18.
No wearing of loafers without socks.
Hey, that's a good one.

Bulleted newz:

Steve Noonan was appointed to the Borough Council as the replacement for Councilman Charlie Niles and Councilman Carl Nolan was elected Council President
This guy must have been freezing his #$&* off at Gunnison Beach before driving home on the GSP
The Breeder's Cup is coming to Monmouth Park Racetrack
A few area Masters of the Universe may be mastering the art of license plate making after getting caught in a major NYSE scandal.
Not to be outdone by the Jets, the Giants negotiated their own sweetheart deal for a new stadium. Wouldn't it be funny if the Giants deal ultimately goes through while the Jets' West Side Stadium gets held up in legal battles and then the Jets come back to the new and improved Giants Stadium. HA! [via Enlighten New Jersey]

I've said it before and I'll say at least a dozen more times - get down to Asbury Park Lanes and get your bowling groove on to the stylings of Highland's folk legend DJ Hotdog. Every Thursday night DJ Hotdog spins the Technics and gets you doing the African Anteater dance to the long forgotten gems of the 1980's. (Anyone catch that Anteater reference?)

Snoozeday

2005-04-12T16:50:00.000-05:00

Not a whole lot of local chatter to report. I guess this is the calm before the ~~storm~~ Council meeting tomorrow night.

Atlantic Highlands isn't the only bayshore town with its own poem. Check out On the Pier at Keansburg by Maureen McVeigh-Berzok.

If you haven't noticed, the official town website got quite a makeover. Instead of wishing me "happy holidays" the homepage now announces a "special planning board meeting." On April 6th. The 2004 concert series was also yanked in favor of the 2005 concert series. Anyone heard of the band Concert Schedule TBD? I hear they can rock with the best of 'em, even the Bob Paddock Orchestra. Speaking of the Bob Paddock Orchestra, did anyone catch his cover of Happy Birthday last summer? Classic.

I got a sneak peak at the next issue of the Atlantic Highlands Beacon over the weekend. Interestingly, there was no "Main Street" article by Fred Rast. I was hoping he'd offer some advice on security preparations for the arrival of the carny folk during this summer's fireman's fair. But alas, the issue was not without some giggles, make sure you turn to "Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood" and check out the Chamber of Commerce insert. In the Chamber insert you'll find quite possibly the most ridiculous name for a store ever in the history of retail, O'synchronicities - a new boutique selling belts, bags, scarves and jewelry.

Get this - you can shop online at Jaspan Brothers. What's better than Jaspan Brothers? Nothing.

Forget Million Dollar Baby, Sideways and The Aviator, the best movie from 2004 was so obviously Napoleon Dynamite. If you haven't seen it go rent it. I can't believe it wasn't at least nominated for best script.

Speaking of renting movies - has anyone else given up on renting DVDs? We cancelled NetFlix because practically every movie we rented would skip or my DVD player would simply inform me that the "disc is dirty." We've gone back to renting VHS from Eastpointe because the same thing happened with their discs. (No, it's not our DVD player - it works fine for my CDs) Perhaps most annoying about DVDs are the "selection indicators" (for lack of a better term) when navigating the menu. It usually takes me five minutes to figure out what sign I should be looking for to know what selection I'm about to make. Guess I'm just getting old and cranky. I miss the days of guys riding the subways with boomboxes on their shoulders. Now everyone walks around with those fancy white wires running out of their heads.

Actually, I love my iPod. It may be the singular greatest human achievement in the past 25 years. Or more.

Former Marlboro Mayor Matthew Scannapieco pleaded guilty today to accepting $245,000 in cash bribes from 1997 - 2003. At least this guy went for some serious dough - not like the knucklehead mayors recently arrested for bribes of under $10,000. Here's the press release from U.S. District Attorney Christopher J. Christie, aka Mr. Jonny Law.

I May Have Found What I'm Looking For

2005-04-08T07:45:00.000-05:00

Can't an Amish brother get a break?

We all know that there is no such thing as an Amish person who would ever provide a home to a horse that is not of any use. The Amish have no regard for animals and use them only as vehicles, food or trade. This is a well-known fact.

The Independent got a hold of one of the emails that began circulating around the area regarding the fate of Buddy and Butch, the two Belgian horses that work at the Longstreet Farm. From what I've read about the Longstreet Farm, Buddy and Butch were used for plowing and hay-rides. WHAT!? That sounds suspiciously like they used them for vehicles and trade. Somebody get the militia ready - we got some Amish in Holmdel that need to learn a lesson.

Laura Kirkpatrick, a public information representative for the Monmouth County Park System (MCPS) said "that the whole thing has spun out of control, and all started when one fallacy led to another, and then another." So, it looks like the MCSP is trying to find a good home for the horses and if any proceeds come from their sale will it would be considered a donation.

Julia, Julia
Oceanchild, calls me
So I sing a song of love
Julia, Julia
Seashell eyes, windy smile, calls me so I sing a song of love
Julia

Julia's opens this weekend in Atlantic Highlands.

Not to get ~~anyone's~~ my hopes up but HOLY SCHNIKIES HOLY SCHNIKIES, HOLY HOLY SCHNIKIES...deep breath...let me explain how the stars (literally) are aligning:

1. Wednesday, May 18th/ U2 @ Continental Arena
+
2. Thursday, May 19th/ Bruce Springsteen @ Continental Arena
= HOLY EFFING SCHNIKIES!

The Boss has the 18th off after a gig in Philly on the 17th - are you telling me he's not going to head home to Rumson, chill and then jump on stage the next night for an encore performance of I Haven't Still Found What I'm Looking For? Are you telling me Bono's not going to take a Lincoln town car over the river and through the swamp to jump on stage the next night as he's got a few days to kill before a 5/21 MSG show? You'd be nuts to tell me that cause I'll beat you with a rubber hose and sell your limp body to the Amish.

Flop Flip

2005-04-06T16:50:00.000-05:00

Here's a satellite image of Atlantic Highlands on Google Maps. Aren't satellite images the coolest? [via Sluggo Needs a Nap]

I found Councilman ~~John Kerry~~ Jack Archibald's recent Body Politic column confusing. He writes:

Last week, the Atlantic Highlands Borough Council joined the growing number of towns supporting a ban on “Pay to Play” By a unanimous vote, including my own, the governing body passed a series of ordinances that deal with the “Pay to Play” issue. While the measures passed with bi-partisan support, one is left to wonder what effect the ordinances will have on our small town.

Holy flip-flop Batman said the Boy Wonder. Throughout the article Archibald questions if the ordinances were necessary and how effective they can ultimately be. So why vote for them? As a gesture of good faith? Well, that's nice and all, but show some freakin' backbone. Or, don't vote for them and then go write an article questioning what you just supported. Stand by your vote or speak up when it counts (i.e. vote no if you have such strong concerns). Perhaps Archibald was scared that the Democrats would use the" no" vote in their future campaign literature to accuse him of being anti-pay-to-play and pro-corruption? Paranoia will destroy ya dude.

There's a saga unfolding at the Longstreet Farm in Holmdel. Buddy and Butch, two Belgian horses who work at the farm plowing and pulling wagons, are getting old and the farm needs to replace them. Rumors have been circulating via email and phone that the horses were going to be sold at auction to be slaughtered or sold to the Amish as workhorses. Joy Gamache, a horse lover and former Special People United to Ride (SPUR) board member is working to ensure that the horses find a good home. She was quoted in the Two River Times saying, "after years of loyal service to the community it would be criminal not to see that they go to a good home." She also commented that the Amish "treat their horses the same way other farmers use machines." I think that has to be the first recorded instance where someone has gone on record as being anti-Amish. I do hope the horses find a good home but why take a dig at the Amish? Of course they use horses like other farmers use machines. That's the whole idea.

The sun decided to grace us with its presence the past few days which can only mean that it's going to take a few days off. The weekend is looking nice though.

Want to know the best local park to view amphibians?

It looks like the Atlantic Highlands Elementary School needs to get students brushed up on their math skills. 24.3% and 34.5% of 3rd and 4th graders, respectively, are considered not proficient in math. We're also behind the state average for students with advanced math skills. As someone who always avoided rigorous math study I can't stress how important it is to get kids on the right track with these skills early. I haven't heard anyone in town talking about these score cards but the issue needs to be addressed. If anyone has any information on the reaction of the school board to the published reports please send it along. A quick comparison to Highlands, Rumson, Fair Haven and Middletown shows AH is well behind other area towns. As stated, I'm no statistician and I briefly looked at the percentages, but the situation does not look good.

I'm happy to announce we have a guest host lined up for the week of 4/23 - 4/30. I'll introduce him later this month.

Yay, spring

2005-04-02T18:55:00.000-05:00

If I haven't said it before, I hate spring. Spring is like going to see a movie that has an awesome trailer, that critics have praised and your friends have recommended but leaves you wondering about 20 minutes (or a about a week in this case) into it, what the %$* is all the fuss about?

First, AH passed the pay-to-play reform ordinances introduced at the Council meeting last Wednesday despite accusations that the ordinances had "overtones of racial discrimination" and arguments that the ordinances weren't necessary and even unconstitutional. I think the approval of the ordinances is a good thing and while they can't prevent crooked people from doing crooked things (what can?), at least the town and its elected officials have made progress to restore faith in our campaign and election process at the local level. The town ordinances also address the issue of "wheeling" and funneling money from district to district, which the pay-to-play reforms on the state level were lacking.

This was a bi-partisan effort that took over a year of work on the part of council members Stephanie Ladiana (D), Lou Fligor (R) and Planning Board member Benson Chiles, along with guidance from the Borough Attorney, Janice Miller. I think all involved should be proud, as well as residents of the town, as AH recognized long before the recent investigations into County politics that change needed to be implemented. AH did not jump on any "politically correct bandwagon" or cling to recent buzzwords surrounding County politics as mentioned at last week's Council meeting. We were proactive and the fact that there are ongoing investigations throughout town and county governments show how wise our Council and residents were to initiate and support these ordinances. Way to Fligor it out team!

The conspiracy theorists will be dreaming up plot lines again. Councilman Charles Niles (D) resigned his position on the Council due to increasing travel demands from his job. I'm sure our very own Fox and Mulder are on the case now. In accordance with the State law on these matters, three residents have been nominated to fill Niles' vacancy - Stephen D. Noonan, Robert J. Sutton and Ellen Sheehan Duda. All are former Democratic council members. The Council has 30 days to fill the seat.

State Senator Joseph Kyrillos, R-Monmouth/Middlesex has proposed a study to determine the viability of merging some New Jersey municipalities (first item). For example, Middletown and Keansburg would merge into one town. The fact that New Jersey has so many municipalities has been cited as a reason why the state has so much corruption. I suppose the argument is that the more chance for corruption the more corruption happens. I'll need to dig deeper into this argument but ~~two~~ three issues come to mind immediately: 1. do less townships mean less corruption or with larger townships comes larger corruption? 2. does New Jersey have a disproportionate amount of corruption in our local, county and state governments? 3. as AH is such a small town, will we get swallowed up by Middletown again?

As we live in a major media market perhaps our scandals get more press? CT had its governor scandal around the time of ours last year don't forget. Am I too jaded and cynical that I think this kind of stuff goes on in every state? Of course we need to address problems of corruption, but I'm not sure if cutting down the number of local governments will help alleviate the problem. Perhaps I'm just being selfish - I do not want to be part of Middletown lest the McMansion Monsters start swallowing up our town. Mmmmm....old homes, nice views, thriving downtown. Yummmy.

Bulleted buzz:

Quick, somebody get ~~Magnum PI~~ Fred Rast on the case here in town.
Middletown still hasn't gotten over its charming downtown envy. Aren't there supplements and prescriptions for this kind of thing?
PSA: A state wide mock terror attack will take place the week of April 4.
The Asbury Park Press website doesn't have a great archive tool so I can't link to the article, but it reported on 3/24/05 that results from a traffic study in town were presented to the Borough Council and some plans and concepts may be presented to residents in early April. Stay tuned.
Keep an eye out for the next issue of The Atlantic Highlands Beacon and read all about what I do in my spare time besides bloggin'.

An Ethical Diamond in the Rough

2005-03-23T08:23:00.000-05:00

By Benson Chiles, member of the Atlantic Highland’s Planning Board

Many people around here know Atlantic Highlands as the “Jewel of the Bayshore.” It’s not an official slogan, nor is it always fitting. It does, however, accurately characterize the beautiful rolling hills, the colorful Victorian homes, and the big views of NYC and Sandy Hook that make Atlantic Highlands a special place to live.

The Atlantic Highlands Council has an opportunity to add another priceless feature to the Borough: ethics reform. For more than a year a bi-partisan committee worked hard to develop a suite of three ordinances that insure the highest ethical standards of conduct for town officials, developers who go before the planning board, contractors who bid on Borough projects, and professional service firms who want to do business with the town. Passing these reforms at tonight’s meeting will send a strong message that Atlantic Highlands is a jewel for reform.

Council members Stephanie Ladiana (D) and Lou Fligor (R) deserve credit for their hard work bringing these reform ordinances this far. Now it will fall to the full council to put them on the books. Mayor Peter Donoghue has publicly expressed support for the measures, and other members of the Council throughout the drafting process have offered sound suggestions for ways to strengthen them. Clearly, members of the Council understand the importance of these reforms in the larger political context, and tonight, residents will have a chance to reinforce that view during a public hearing.

The arrests and ongoing investigations of Monmouth County officials for ethical misconduct have brought increased public attention to issues of ethics in government. Now the challenge is how to convert this negative momentum into something positive, before even more voters are lost to cynicism and disgust. Senator John Adler, in a recent Asbury Park Press editorial captured the moment well when he said, the "implied quid pro quo of campaign contributions" is "one step removed from the worst example of corruption, which is taking bribes."

At every level of government, our elected officials have a choice to make: continue with politics as usual, despite deepening citizen concerns, or enact sweeping reforms that empower citizens and build public trust? The vitality of our democracy depends on the answer.

In Atlantic Highlands, the Borough Council stands ready to make the right choice. In so doing, it will not only raise the ethical bar of conduct for our small town, but it will join the dozens of other municipalities who have passed similar “pay-to-play” reforms. This coordinated action (thanks in large part to the “Citizens’ Campaign,” www.jointhecampaign.org) may strengthen the resolve of County and State officials to pass similar reforms. As Tip O’Neil once said, “all politics is local.”

But the challenge should not be underestimated. Barbara and Stephen Salmore, in their book New Jersey Politics and Government, describe New Jersey as one of “the strongest bastions of the individualistic political culture among the states,” where the “culture is expressed at its lowest level through urban political machines, boss rule, and extensive corruption.” If we can get real reform here in the land of “The Sopranos,” then other states and the Federal government should have the courage to follow suit.

“Pay to play” reform in tiny Atlantic Highlands may be like discovering a large ethical diamond in the rough. With a little polishing, the core nature of our community can be seen and admired by others. Other communities, in turn, need only to look within to discover their own ethical jewels.

Calling All Budding Bloggers!

2005-03-21T13:32:00.000-05:00

Do you enjoy reading the AH Muse? Do you enjoy reading other blogs? Have you ever thought about starting your own blog? Do you have thoughts and opinions on local affairs? Can you turn on a computer?

Then I'm looking at you.

The AH Muse writer/editor/bartender/paternal unit will be soaking up San Diego's sunny rays with the family in one month and two days (not that I'm counting). If any AH resident would like to guest host the AH Muse for a week please let me know. You don't need to post daily and you can cover whatever topics come up and interest you. Most of all, you don't need to be a computer genius - if you can type a Word document you can post a blog entry.

Should a few people want to help we can work out a schedule or heck, y'all can write everyday, I don't care as I'll be relaxing poolside or sunning myself at the beach.

Please let me know as soon as possible so we can arrange a quick tutorial to get you started in the wild, wacky world of web-logs.

Email: hill_timothy@hotmail.com

March Ridiculousness

2005-03-21T13:30:00.000-05:00

Thanks to some ridiculous upsets this weekend I no longer have to worry about my NCAA brackets. I can now fully devote myself to familial and local affairs.

One would think that a week away from following the papers would leave lots of news to catch up on, but alas, local buzz is tough to come by. I think the biggest story last week was the inebriated leprechaun that took a rather unfortunate spill into the Sandy Hook bay on St. Paddy's Day while trying to get off the ferry in Highlands. Fortunately, the gentleman was ok. Just think if he had to ~~walk~~ stumble down the pier in Atlantic Highlands! (Cough, cough, it's not easy.)

The Bayshore Courier published a ~~press release~~ article (second item) on Keyport Mayor John Merla and how "he's looking forward to defending the allegations brought against him by the FBI." The Courier goes on to paint Merla as a heavyweight boxer, never backing down from a tough fight even though the odds may be stacked against him. The Courier might as well have had a picture of Merla running up the steps of city hall with his fists pumped into the air to accompany the article.

Then, in the Courier Editorial section, Somdatta Sengupta comes to the defense of former Hazlet Mayor Paul Coughlin, writing:

I really like the way in which the town's GOP members have pulled together in an hour of crisis and have done what is best for the town and its taxpayers. Even Coughlin. Though he was not required by law to step down, he did.

As my daughter's Wiggles would say, whoop-dee-doo. If I'm going to listen to spin doctors, I'd much rather listen to Pocket Full of Kryptonite. I never knew the Courier was a soapbox for the Keyport/Hazlet GOP.

But hand's down, the most disapointing feature about this week's Courier was the absence of the Mystery Shopper! What's up with that? I don't exactly pay the $.40 for the stellar reporting, I just like looking at the picture of the poor sucker who gets photographed walking out of FoodTown with a pint of Ben & Jerry's, a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and assorted deli meats. And I secretly hope one day I am that man. Lord knows I try.

Oh, and by the way, speaking of the Lord, Jesus is the Messiah Whether One Believes or Not. End of story. Don't talk to me about your "Force" and Jedi voodoo. Or your kooky alien invaders Mr. Tom Cruise.

So I pretty much threw my Magic 8-ball against a wall, kicked it a few times and then smashed it with a hammer. After so reliably predicting some immediate consequences of last month's bribery scandal it COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FAILED ME in my attempt to repeat as the winner of my March Madness office pool (as you already know - I said UCONN, it said "outlook positive").

So I'm left with few options for predicting future events. The Town Psychic was run out of town to make room for a vintage clothing store (forget the future, let's recycle old stuff that was cool old stuff five years ago), Councilman Jack Archibald only predicts the future around the holidays when he gives us sneak peaks into Santa's bag and I had to burn my Farmer's Almanac for heat this winter. So I guess I'm left with a good ol' gut feeling. That same gastrointestinal pain that tells me to raise on fourth street when I'm holding four diamonds attempting to bluff the table and then seeing the next bet after being re-raised. Sure, my gut's failed me before - but not as much as it's come through for me. (I held 'em and got the flush on fifth street). So my gut tells me:

After some discussion during the public comment portion of Wednesday's Council meeting Atlantic Highlands will pass three pay-to-play ordinances.
The municipal budget will be introduced at Wednesday's meeting and the phrase "bull-sh%#" will uttered at least a dozen times. This may be qualified with a rather explicit adjective.
I want turkey and swiss for lunch
The completion of the Bayshore Bike Trail will not be mentioned at all.
Water and sewer rates will go up.
It will snow one more time before spring really arrives.

St. Patrick's Day Eve

2005-03-16T17:49:00.000-05:00

Can't write, drooling...

Sorry for the lack of posts this week folks. I'm integrating, optimizing, branding and communicating like a mad man. The Muse will return on Friday.

Perhaps hungover.

Erin Go Braugh! Happy happy St. Paddy's manana.

Merla Apologizes!

2005-03-12T20:05:00.000-05:00

Keyport Mayor John Merla apologized to residents at the March 1 Borough Council meeting.

I want to apologize to you for the recent media attack on me. It was not my intent to have our community plastered all over the news. I have no intention of resigning, and I have the full intention of fighting these allegations. I will continue to work hard for this community, as I have for 19 years. I want to thank all the friends and family who have supported me.

Well, isn't that special? Merla is apologizing on behalf the media for its recent "attack" on him. What attack? Does he mean the attack from Johnny Law? I've read just about every story on his, and the other Monmouth 11 14's arrests, and I've found that the "media" is simply reporting the fact that he and others were taped doing very unlawful things. Then he goes on to say that it "was not my intent to have our community plastered all over the news." Duh, that's why when he allegedly accepted an envelope full of cash ($9,000) he did it in a quiet restaurant. People don't intend on getting caught when they pull BS like this. They intend on getting richer and more powerful at the expense of their integrity and constituents.

And in another case of forgetting to cover your tracks (literally), Red Bank police arrested two men and charged them with robbery and assault after they store a man's backpack and ran to a local residence. How did Patrolman Steven "Sherlock Holmes" Adams solve the backpack mystery? He followed the idiots' footsteps in the snow.

"You say tom-A-to, I say tom-ah-to. You say fruit, the Legislature says vegetable. And lawmakers are making it official." Has anyone been following the saga of making the tomato New Jersey's official vegetable? Here's what Jeff Tittel of the Sierra Club had to say:

New Jersey is losing farmland faster than any state in the nation. We see development paving over our farm-fields. Instead of taking on the real issues of protecting farmland and keeping farms viable, they pass silly resolutions that waste time and money.

Official State Breakfast - Taylor Ham, egg and cheese on a hard roll (of course!) and more "official state" things from DynamoBuzz.

I've added some more New Jersey blogs to the blogroll on your right. Try to check them out and stay informed on all the NJ buzz outside of our humble little town.

Jerseystyle: politics/music/books/technology/rants
Enlighten New Jersey: NJ politics
Parkway Rest Stop: writing/music/news
Mister Snitch: Hoboken/hilarity

Speaking of NJ buzz, NJ bloggers are all over a scandal brewing at the Stevens Institute of Technology in Hoboken. The Chronicle of Higher Education reports that while the university is adding more Ph.D's to its faculty, building new dormitories and increasing its endowment, it's bond rating has been lowered and faculty are raising questions about the school's fiscal management and President, Harold J. Raveché.

The timing of his growth plan has proved ironic. Soon after Mr. Raveché (pronounced Rav-a-shay) told faculty members about his goals last year, they were surprised to see Stevens's bonds downgraded first by one credit-rating agency and then by another. The faculty's standing committee on planning and resources, assigned to assess the viability of the growth plan, began to look into the downgrades instead.

Faculty members discovered that the institute was running operating deficits, even in years for which its own annual reports showed surpluses. And the endowment was declining, having lost almost $37-million from 2000 to 2003.

Enlighten New Jersey looks at the State ties to the school and points out that Raveché is one of the ten highest paid college presidents in the country(!). Even as one of the highest paid college presidents making $696,965, Jerseystyle notes that Raveché borrowed over $1 million from the school with little or no interest on the loan. Fausta at Bad Hair Blog is also on the case. Developing.

And Another One Down, And Another One Down

2005-03-10T17:48:00.000-05:00

And another three bite the dust.

Kumba...Yeah Right

2005-03-10T15:00:00.000-05:00

Well, we didn't exactly pass around a bottle of peppermint schnapps, sing campfire songs and eventually make-out to Stairway To Heaven, but last night's Council meeting was rather chummy compared to the last one. It may have had something to do with putting off the introduction of the municipal budget until "early next week." That said, there was still some good entertainment, but it didn't warrant breaking out the popcorn.

One hot topic was the parking lot in front of the Ocean Club and Dockside restaurants on the harbor. I came a little late to the meeting but it looks like the police department will begin enforcing a two hour parking limit for about 30 spaces. I have some advice for everybody:

Don't park there if you're a commuter as you'll get a ticket or get towed.
Make the fine substantial because most of the people riding the boat would gladly pay a fine or have their butler pick up the car from the towing company if it's the difference between missing the boat and making thier bling on Wall Street that day.

The Harbor Commission was under fire on few topics. The first was the allocation of thier budget. Apparently the Commission keeps a line item for miscellaneous. Understandable. But $186,000? That's a whole lot of miscellany. The Finance Committee is trying to get the Commission to more accurately define what short and long-term capital improvements are necessary and to budget accordingly. I think this is a reasonable request as $186,000 hanging out for "I dunno" is not adequate fiscal management.

The topic was also raised about the Harbor Commission's "mission." Does it have a "mission statement," what are its long-term goals, how does it support the overall town vision and master plan, what kind of metrics can be designed to measure the success or failure of its goals and objectives? Pretty valid points in my opinion. People in town and at Council meetings talk about the Harbor Commission like it's some separate entity to the town government. The harbor is the town's single greatest assest - besides all the charming characters and the fantastic tequila selection at Copper Canyon - and needs to be run efficiently to provide maximum benefits to taxpayers. Transparency is the name of the game these days. Tossing $186,000 into a slush fund for whatever doesn't cut it.

A comment was made that the Harbor Commission does have a "substantial mission statement," which was written in 1947 by the Lion's Club. I may try to look this up via the Atlantic Highlands Historical Society but regardless, an updated mission and long-term strategic plan need to be put together and the Commission, as well as the Council, need to be held accountable for achieving the goals laid out.

A great idea was presented by the publisher of the Atlantic Highlands Herald, Allan Dean. Mr. Dean suggested that when the town re-enters negotiations with Comcast to, I guess renew its monopoly, that we request some dedicated time on one of the local cable channels to broadcast council meetings and other events in town. Mr. Dean also suggested that students from Henry Hudson Regional High School tape and edit the meetings for broadcast. I say do it and make Comcast donate the equipment. I guess I'd feel a little better paying my outrageous cable and Internet bills each month if I knew some local kids were getting a chance to explore communications technology, media, production, etc. and build real experience for college applications and jobs. Plus, this way I could watch the Council meetings from the comfort of my Lay-Z-Boy with my popcorn and cold brewskis. I could even tape, or better yet TiVo them for posterity. You never know when there's going to be a wardrobe malfunction at a Council meeting.

Something that may have been addressed but I missed was the absence of the Borough Attorney Janice Miller. There was another lawyer from her firm at the meeting and he said something to the effect that he "would bring the concerns re: Mrs. Miller to his office on Monday." Specifically he cited the concerns of Councilman Fligor, Councilwoman Spatola and Councilman Archibald. Developing.

Speaking of Councilman Fligor, I had an opportunity to meet him last night. I've been impressed with his knowledge of seemingly every issue brought up at Council meetings, especially the ones when you have to roll up your sleeves and really dig in to figure it out, i.e. the kind of things I like to avoid. In fact, we've introduced a new verb in my household - "Honey, the shower is leaking again and the bills are due, go Fligor it out." There's definitely a campaign slogan in there Councilman.

And lastly, everyone, please help me in welcoming to the AH Herald, The Beer Man! Mmmm....beer.

How Many People Here Are From Jersey?

2005-03-08T17:45:00.000-05:00

Governor Piscapo?

You think I'm joking? [via Sluggo Needs A Nap]

Joe Reynolds wrote a very thoughtful piece on the winter blues and the restorative value of a walk in the woods. Yesterday was the perfect day to venture out for a woodsy constitutional as we approached spring-like temperatures - 63 degrees according to NOAA. Today on the other hand... Joe also explains the origins of the name Many Mind Creek.

Ray "I can smell a cop a mile away" O'Grady attended last night's Township Committee meeting as he still refuses to resign his position. Former Middletown committeeman Joseph McGrath addressed O'Grady at the meeting saying, "Your actions are inexcusable, and they have definitely cast a black shadow over the entire form of government in Middletown Township. You have an obligation to step down and allow the Township Committee to replace you and restore that trust."

Does O'Grady really think he's going to get out of this mess? That he was entrapped? That he's, uh, cough, cough, innocent? Yes, I believe in innocent until proven guilty but his position and alleged actions affect an entire town, and the county as he was director of the Monmouth County central ~~money~~ motor pool. He should step down, if even temporarily, and be replaced by someone who will not be a distraction to getting town business done. If he's found innocent then Middletown can throw him a big welcome back ticker tape parade through Downtown. Wait, Middletown doesn't have a downtown because O'Grady couldn't convince his constituents to shell out the money to build it. I wonder if The Duke was bidding on that project? Not only are O'Grady's olfactory senses bad at sniffing out cops but worse at detecting any kind of common sense in this matter.

...And the beat goes on...check out the last item in this Asbury Park Press story re: "Belford developments." It involves O'Grady winning of a "raffle," the purchase of a condo, the suggestion of unethical behavior and the ever present, "no comment."

Acting Governor Codey gave the Senate approved pay-to-play bill a "conditional veto." He's asking lawmakers to revise portions of the bill to protect some $350 million of federal transportation aid, which federal officials withheld last year. Federal highway officials feel the bill "would illegally stifle competition for government contracts."

I know I won't be getting any sleep tonight as I'll be anxiously awaiting Wednesday's Council meeting. The agenda looks exciting!

Roll call
Pledge of Allegiance
Approval of minutes from 2/23
Introduction of municipal budget
Snickering from the audience
Call to order
Outrage from the audience
Tomato throwing
Tomatoes to be tossed back at audience
Call to order
Passing around of the minibar cocktails
More passing around of the minibar cocktails
Drunken apologies
Group hug
Passing of the budget
Singing of "Country Roads Take Me Home"
Adjourn

The Tax Man

2005-03-04T17:00:00.000-05:00

If you drive a car-car I'll tax the street/ If you try to sit-sit I'll tax your seat/ If you get too cold I'll tax the heat/ If you take a walk I'll tax your feet/ Tax man / Well I'm the tax man / Yea I'm the tax man

Budgets and taxes are the new ~~scandal~~ black. From Trenton to AH, talk of the Tax Monster is replacing bribery and pay-to-play around the water cooler and office ~~sludge~~ coffee machine.

AH Councilman Jack Archibald goes on the offensive in his Body Politic column on the AH Herald,

This will be the second budget for the Donoghue Administration and residents are still waiting for his team to deliver on their campaign promise of reduced water and sewer rates...The excess spending of the past few years by Trenton Democrats continues, and the pie in the sky campaign promises by local Democrats further erodes the public confidence. There is a property tax monster swallowing up our state, and Democrats from Trenton to Atlantic Highlands continue to shove
taxpayer dollars into its throat.

The Donaghue Administration are Predators on the taxpayer of At-lan-teeec Highlands. They must be Totally Recalled from Borough Hall. What with all the pies and the skies and the waters and the sewers and so forth and so on. You can't be a girly man with the budgets, you have to be strong like Conan the Tax Reducer not wimpy like Conan the Tax Increaser.

I'll be sure to attend the March 9th Council meeting when the budget is introduced as I'm fairly certain sparks will fly. The Harbor Commission got a sneak peak at the budget on March 2 and "voted" it down 3-4. Quotes because their vote does not hold any weight - the Council doesn't need their approval. One issue is that the Harbor Commission wants $100,000 for capital improvements such as paving the parking lots while the budget reflects $50,000 for capital improvements so that more money can go toward tax relief. Hold on there - did I just read that the Donaghue Administration's budget is trying to provide tax relief? How will we feed the Tax Monster? Will it eat us if it can't eat our money?

Do the harbor parking lots need to be repaved? If there's a capital improvement to be made at the harbor it's getting some kind of temporary something to put up on the pier before a gust of wind knocks somebody into the water on the way to the ferry. The seasonal hand rail doesn't really do the trick.

Middletown Committeeman Ray "I can smell a cop a mile away" O'Grady will not resign his position even though he was one of the 11 county officials arrested in the bribery sting last week. According to an article is the Asbury Park Press, "only death, resignation, term expirations, a recall petition or the finding of guilty in the legal proceedings would result in their [any of the officials] removal." Obviously they forgot common sense in that list.

The balance of the Middletown committee released a statement on 2/23 stating: “He has clearly lost the confidence of the people ... and he should not burden the township with his presence at governmental meetings and other activities. Frankly, that would be adding insult to injury, and embarrassing.”

And I thought our Council meetings were fun - I might pick up some Goobers and a Slurpee and head to Middletown to catch a show sometime.

It is Friday so let's have some fun:

Pay-to-Pay Ordinances

2005-03-01T20:45:00.000-05:00

Here are the pay-to-play ordinances that will be discussed at the Council meeting on 3/23. If anyone has a problem downloading the PDF files please email me and I will forward them to you.

Cowboy Up

2005-03-01T17:02:00.000-05:00

Photo courtesy of Bill at "Figuring out the Future

Roberto of DynamoBuzz pointed me to a nice piece on the winter side of the Jersey Shore from Figuring out the Future.

New Jersey Transit may soon be able to control ferry service between NJ and NY - at least the New York Waterway runs. A bill, already approved by the Assembly, will be introduced to the state senate for a vote.

Anyone who's rode NJ Transit will appreciate this tirade from Gigglechick.

Speaking of a big vote. The state senate passed more restrictions on the practice of pay-to-play in a special session yesterday. Despite concerns that the bill did not sufficiently address the practice of "wheeling" (funneling money from district to district), the measure passed 34-0. Harry Pozycki, director of the government reform organization Common Cause New Jersey said, "This is significant. It's not just indicating a change in policy, it's indicating a change in the culture of corruption." The last obstacle will be Acting Governor Codey who is apparently under pressure to reconsider the bill from federal highway officials who are concerned about the constitutionality of pay-to-play limits. In some sort of twisted irony we get federal law enforcement agents busting mayors for accepting pay-to-play bribes while at the same time federal highway officials are expressing concern over the constitutional rights of highway contractors and how strict pay-to-play laws would affect them. Millions of dollars in federal transportation aid hang in the balance.

Never before has my magic 8-ball been so correct since I asked it if the Giants would win the Superbowl in 1991 and it said, "That poor kicker from Buffalo has no idea what he's in for." Well, this time I asked about Monmouth County Prosecutor John Kaye and it said, "That poor county prosecutor has no idea what he's in for and pick up some lightbulbs on your way home because your hall light is going to go out." Oh, magic 8-ball, where would I be without you. So, about Kaye, his office was served with federal subpoenas on Monday "seeking to interview five county investigators and examine documents relating to the federal corruption probe." And the beat goes on...still moving strong on and on.

Let's see what's shaking in AH these days.

...And the beat goes on, still moving strong on and on. The AH Herald forums are ~~hot~~ sizzling today rehashing some old disputes from Campaign 2003. I'm scared to ask my magic 8-ball about the election this fall. Allan Dean, publisher of the AH Herald, looking forward to the campaign, writes today, "I think the Republicans will come out with both barrels blazing this year. Watch for the literature to arrive in your mailbox beginning in August." That would sound so cool if the guy who does all the voiceovers for the movies had said it.

Hmm...both barrels blazing? Cowboy up partner. I happened to overhear some of these cowboys strategizing the other day over an onion bloom and a couple of pina coladas at ~~TGIFriday's~~ Harborside. One guy in particular caught my attention, a newcomer to town, a real straight talker, and tan, rather handsome man. His name, Jack Schwarzenegger.

People of At-lan-teeec Highlands. We need to Terminate the bad guys from Borough Hall. What with all the botching of the back-door meetings, and overpaying of the attorneys bills and the for sale signs on the doors of the harbors and the forgeries and so on and so forth. These bureaucrats are Predators on the tax-payers of Atlantic Highlands. They must be Totally Recalled from the Council. They act like a bunch of girly-men.

I think we're going to need a Kindergarten Cop this fall.

In Like A Lion,

2005-02-28T22:46:00.000-05:00

Well, you know what they say. Hello old man March.

I'm sure everyone's either read or heard about this past Sunday's New York Times article on the Monmouth 11. There's more in the Jersey section too - just haven't gotten to it yet.

Hey, does anyone know what happened with this vote?

Time to shovel.

The Gooch, The Gooch, The Gooch is a Liar

2005-02-26T16:44:00.000-05:00

My magic 8-ball was right - Acting Governor Codey has ordered a probe into the Monmouth County Prosecutor's office and its alleged interference with the FBI sting.

John Schabe, the editor NJ.com, has posted some more photos of the cast of Monmouth's 11, including Joseph "Tricky Dick" McCurnin, the operations manager for the Monmouth County Department of Transportation.

Allright, enough of this scandal business for a day or two.

On 2/22 I wrote about how the Two River Times stopped publishing its articles online (first item). In its 2/25 issue the TRT published a letter from David Prown of Red Bank complaining about this new policy. The paper provided a response:

We are working to address the problems our subscribers are having with our website and hope to have them resolved very soon.

Mr. & Mrs. Gooch (owners of the paper): you're lying. There are no "problems" - you simply decided not to publish your articles online anymore. And I quote from the TRT website once you click on a story:

Want to read this article? The Two River Times is available exclusively in print. Subscribe or click here to find out where you can buy this weeks issue.

The problems subscribers are having is with the silly decision to not publish the paper online. As Mr. Prown notes in his letter, "do you really think you are losing subscribers to those who only read your paper online only?"

Check out this Jersey blog from Mike Hill (no relation): Sluggo Needs A Nap. Mike covers everything from NJ politics to history, literature and life with the family. He even has his novel, Asbury Park, posted online. He also provided a link to the hit new snack from the makers of Doritos - Politicos.

Check out AH resident and publisher of the Atlantic Highlands Herald, Allan Dean, on News 12 New Jersey this weekend. Show times here.

Here's your weekly progress report on the Marxist-Communist revolution brought to you by everyone's favorite wacky uncle, Bishop Gordon.

Let's all go to FoodTown at the same time and be real nasty to each other!

Customer 1: That's MY MILK YOU BASTARD!
Customer 2: Hey, wait, you're THE JERK THAT CUT ME OFF IN THE PARKING LOT.
Mayhem ensues in aisle 8

Track the nor'easter here.

The stars have aligned and all that is good will be coming together on March 14th at the Waldorf in New York City - Bruce Springsteen will induct U2 into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. The flip side, well it's a little scary that the band I grew up idolizing is now in the Hall of Fame, isn't that for like, The Beatles, The Stones and Lynard Skynard? Second, how rock and roll is the Waldorf Astoria? Shouldn't they do these awards at some dive bar in the Lower East Side?

Goin' Platinum

2005-02-25T08:56:00.000-05:00

The hits just keep on comin'.

Yesterday we learned that interference from the Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office compromised the sting operation that netted the arrest of 11 officials. One unidentified source at the FBI said that County Prosecutor John Kaye "blew the undercover phase of the bribery sting." Unnamed FBI sources are also accusing Kaye of seeking information about the undercover officers, not the suspects in the sting operation. Now Kaye and the U.S. Attorney's office are playing a game of he said she said. I asked my Magic 8-Ball this morning if Kaye was going to survive what could potentially be another scandal in this increasingly disturbing story and it told me, "outlook does not look good."

And it just keeps getting worse, the suicide of Deputy Sheriff Allan D. Brunner on Thanksgiving is now tied to the web of investigations by the County and the Feds.

Middletown asked Committeeman Ray O'Grady to resign his position on Wednesday. O'Grady has thus far declined to comment on the charges. Assemblyman Joseph Azzolina released a statement about O'Grady saying, "I am not saying what he did was right but he has been a valued member of the community. He has done so much for the community it ought to be weighed heavily." I'm aware that O'Grady has a long track record of community involvement, including the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Monmouth County, but the fact is that if the charges do result in a conviction he will, and should, be remembered for this one (perhaps many - the operation lasted over the span of a few years) bad decision. All for $6,000. I can smell an idiot a mile a way.

And just who is this Robert Steffer, the mystery contractor who is at the heart of the sting operation. Well, all I'll say is he has vanity plates on his two cars - STEFFER and MR DUKE.

In the wake of this scandal I attended the Borough Council meeting last night as a pay-to-play ordinance was being introduced. There will be a formal public hearing on the ordinances next month (3/23). I should have the ordinances posted online soon for people to download. I'm also reviewing them in detail but already know in theory this is a good step for the town to take. There was some conversation about the pay-to-play ordinance, which came off mostly as a few folks trying to poke holes in a good thing. Developers and the purchase of tickets was a hot issue and one question was something to the effect of how do these ordinances stop someone from getting their brother-in-law or friend down the street from purchasing tickets. Uh? They don't, shouldn't and can't. Questions for questions sake does not insight make. I hope the meeting on 3/23 will draw a good crowd as the topic deserves intelligent discussion.

I must say, our council meetings are quite entertaining. What was a fairly civilized evening got all kinds of crazy toward the end. I guess I should have known something was bound to happen after the Mayor began the meeting informing all in attendance that he would not tolerate the "personal attacks and blatantly political statements" that occurred last month. I guess that's irony and foreshadowing all rolled up in one. (Hmm, is ironic foreshadowing an oxymoron?) Anyway, the really hot issue was the Borough Attorney's bill for December. The motion to approve the bill for payment drew criticism from Councilman Archibald who claimed something to the effect that "this was a sad day for the Atlantic Highlands taxpayer" once the bill was approved.

I'm not going to get into all the particulars but there was some sly questioning of the attorney's integrity, a rebuttal from Councilwoman Ladiana that the bills were in line with the previous attorney's bills, a strenuous rebuttal from the attorney herself, calls of out-of-orderness from the peanut gallery and finally a 4-3 approval to pay the bill. Archibald then pulled out some kind of spreadsheet out to prove his case. I must say, the whole episode reeked of a political stunt as the attorney was willing to meet with anyone who had questions about her bill but it took Archibald almost two weeks to contact her to schedule a meeting. Those opposed to payment did not do due diligence to resolve the (non) issue. You snooze you lose.

The most ~~annoying~~ entertaining part of the meeting was all the snickering in the audience. Next time I'm bringing popcorn.

Look Ma! I Made the Times

2005-02-23T12:00:00.000-05:00

The Paper of Record, The Gray Old Lady, All the News That's Fit to Print - yep, the New York Times front page - 11 Officials in New Jersey Snared After 4-Year Operation by F.B.I (subscription required).

These guys will make a formidable 3-on-3 team on the penitentiary b-ball court. From left to right: Hazlet Mayor Paul Coughlin (R), Keyport Mayor John J. Merla (R), West Long Branch Mayor Paul Zambrano (D).

Thanks to Patrick at Jerseystyle for the pics.

More stories from the Asbury Park Press here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

Stories from NJ.com here (of note, NJ.com reports that the contractor used in the sting was Robert Steffer, of Steffer Industries), here and here.

And now, ladies and gentlemen...the perp walk.

So, now what? Well, I have to imagine that these arrests will shake up Monmouth County politics for a very, very long time. The implications of these men's actions will be felt by the constituents they represent even longer. I've followed local campaigns in Atlantic Highlands and have witnessed the hard work that volunteers put in for their candidates and have to imagine there are a lot of angry people in Keyport, Hazlet and West Long Branch right now.

I encourage all residents of Atlantic Highlands that read The Muse to attend tonight's Borough Council meeting at 7:30. The issue of ethics reform, including the introduction of a pay-to-play ordinance, is going to be addressed during the public hearing portion (note - the item was on the agenda before yesterday's arrests). The introduction of these ordinances are the result of a year's worth of diligent work by two sitting Council members, Lou Fligor (R) and Stephanie Ladiana (D), and a member of the Planning & Zoning board, Benson Chiles. Perhaps AH can set an example for the rest of the County on how to proactively preserve the integrity of our local political system.

Holy Schnikies!

2005-02-22T17:00:00.000-05:00

The Asbury Park Press reported today that 11 county officials were arrested this morning in a bribery sting. Those arrested included three local mayors and eight other local officials, including former Middletown mayor Ray O'Grady. Holy effing schnikies Batman!

The AH Herald has many more details here.

Here's just a taste: former Middletown Mayor Ray O'Grady allegedly took two payments totaling $6,000 for awarding work to a certain contractor (in this case a contractor who was working for the FBI). When undercover agents asked O'Grady if he was scared of getting caught he said "he could smell a cop a mile away." HA!

This is truly unbelievable - or sadly, perhaps it's not at all that unbelievable. I have to imagine that when each of the 11 people arrested today started their career in government, they did so with a purpose to change things for the better. I doubt any of them would have imagined that 10 or 20 years down the road they would be accepting illegal cash gifts in restaurants, acting like the crooked politicians and mobsters you see in movies. Just what in the hell happens to people?

In October 2002 O'Grady said "I’ve always felt it’s very important to pay back the community in which you live with kindness" (The Independent). He sure has a funny way of showing it.

I'll continue to follow the story as it develops, needless to say this will have an enormous impact on the county and subsequently, Atlantic Highlands.

In the meantime, check out the New Jersey Politicians Hall of Shame.

Tuesday, Afternoon

2005-02-22T13:00:00.000-05:00

The Two River Times has stopped posting their articles online. Jerks. Not only does the new publisher's silly editorials annoy me but now his business plan annoys me as well. Heck, I'd pay a small subscription fee if I had to.

Monmouth County was one of the leaders in the country for job growth and nonresidential development in 2004.

And where are all these new workers going to live? Middletown, of course. (But that's just like saying they'll live in Monmouth County.) Middletown is looking to add new housing developments along three stretches of Route 36, including one by the A&P.

Some interesting news from the pages the Bayshore Courier's legal notices:

The Planning Board of AH is holding a hearing on 3/10 to talk about a stormwater management plan which requires an amendment to the town's Master Plan of the Borough of Atlantic Highlands. I assume this Master Plan is available for perusing at Borough Hall? I think I need to check this out.
I don't know all the facts behind this "action" (PB04-09, Block 81, Lot 6, 50 Asbury Avenue) but it seems approval was given to someone to demolish an existing residence. I hope we're not setting a precedent where people can buy homes in AH, knock 'em down and build McMansions. I've seen this happen first hand in parts of Westchester County, NY and the result was absolutely horrifying. Anyone know the scoop here?

Looking beyond the most perfect town in the world to the best state in the country:

Fausta at Bad Hair Blog provides insights and links on the state budget, taxes, rebates and pay-to-play reform.
Speaking of pay-to-play reform, it's a hot topic in the AH Herald's Forums. Admittedly, I'm not well-versed on the topic but I'm doing some research and will have an informed opinion soon - other than being anti-corruption. In the meantime I'll try to provide some links that look at the issue. Here's one from Enlighten-New Jersey that looks at Senator Jon Corzine's recent comments on the topic.

Seastreak launched a new website today. Basically the same stuff, just presented nicer. I did find something funny in the Terms and Conditions:

SeaStreak will not tolerate drunkenness, lewdness, or any other unacceptable behavior. We ask our passengers to show respect for fellow passengers and those who may be traveling with young children.

Quick, dump your stock in Sea Containers Ltd (SCRA and SCRB on the NYSE). Ridership, and profits, are about to take a plunge.

Sadly, Hunter S. Thompson decided to end his life on Sunday. I can't say that this came as a huge shock as he proudly boasted about his fascination and fun with drugs and guns - a combination that I'm sure caused some close calls in the past, if not for him, then for anyone around him. You could also say he was, uh, slightly eccentric. He was also a great writer - the kind that when you got stuck with your own writing, or reading, you could rely on to quickly inject some passion, laughter and insight to get you going again. While I know he's not for everyone, he's rightly credited with helping to revolutionize journalism. So for those who are not familiar with his writings you may want to check out my favorites: Hell's Angels and his most popular book, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

All work and no play makes the Muse a dull read

2005-02-18T23:30:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks - it's been a week of number crunching, spin doctoring and overall preparing for many meetings chaos. I'm a little behind on the buzz but catching up.

The AH Council voted unanimously not to pay the borough attorney's December bill. Pop the cork! The Council agreed on something unanimously. The matter will be discussed in more detail...where?..."inmyofficeinmyofficeinmyoffice."

Highlands passed a resolution to officially support the construction of the new bridge on Route 36. The Bayshore Courier reported that Highlands Councilwoman Anna Little said "she expects downtown Highlands to experience either very heavy or very light traffic when the bridge undergoes construction." Brilliant insight Councilwoman.

Not only is Virginia Bryan a poet but apparently she's also a soothsayer. In her poem, Atlantic Highlands, published on 1/27/05 on the Atlantic Highlands Herald she wrote: "A transformation awaits its birth/ For a new day has come/ One with a purpose of rejuvenation/ Of the creative spirit!" Well, it looks like baby transformation is due in April when Bryan hopes to expand the elementary school's after-school program to include her "Words, Creativity - Things N Me" program.

New Jersey's first Journalist of the Year, Bishop Gordon forgot to take his medication again. This time he jumps from the New Deal to Marxists taking over society to the US losing the war on communism. He accuses New Jersey voters of being "either brain-dead or stupid" for "voting for liberals over conservatives, who lean toward fiscal restraints and the 'rule of law'." Why in the world do both the Bayshore Courier and the Atlantic Highlands Herald bothering publishing this lunatic. I'd chalk up his rhetoric to just being over the top to get attention like so many radio/cable news talk show hosts but his columns and ramblings get so completely incoherent that I can only assume he takes few good slugs of whiskey before sitting down at the typewriter or he's just off his rocker.

AH Mayor Peter Donoghue speaks! Unfortunately his column in this week's Bayshore Courier is not posted online so you'll have to go spend the $.40 if you missed it as my scanner is acting funny. Unlike the Bishop, Donoghue is looking to bridge the partisan divide - especially among the current Borough Council, albeit with a few slaps to the face. He writes:

For my money, those who have been chosen to serve should worry less about getting credit for progress rather than criticizing the efforts of others for fear those others might get credit for something good.

For my money, political figures should first find out how and why things are being handled in a certain way rather than being quick to attack.

Of course, public officials have the responsibility to oversee government. But they also have obligation to suggest better ways of doing things rather than getting carried away with constant carping.

Donoghue then goes on to defend his, and the Democrats, record. However, the article doesn't seem to have changed anything and the soap opera at Borough Hall continued this week with accusations of forgery and a threat to call in the US Attorney's office in regards to a letter Councilman Carl Nolan sent to the DEP. In a nutshell:

The Council and Congressman Pallone signed off on a letter to the DEP in October 2004 re: work being done near the Fireman's Field and Many Mind Creek by New Jersey Natural Gas.
The person whom the letter was addressed to apparently left the DEP. Councilman Nolan re-sent the letter to the appropriate person in January. He put the current date on the letter and addressed it to the correct person. He also included a cover letter explaining the situation.
Councilman Louis Fligor believes Nolan's actions constitute forgery and Joeseph Hawley believes Nolan's actions constitute a call to the US Attorney's office as a US Congressman's name was on the letter. Councilman Jack Archibald said "My signature was taken without permission" and "Give it back to me. Right now."

Who did we elect town shrink? Get him/her over to the republican party headquarters. I'm beginning to see a pattern of delusion here. The AH republican party is becoming a party of whiners. Everything the Democrats do seems to be a scandal, with "botched back-room deals," illegal political donations and now forgery and ethics violations. Meanwhile, serious thought needs to be put into how to best utilize our harbor and surrounding land, what is the town's master plan and what actions can we take to entice developers to do something with the empty lots along First Avenue. Not to mention all the hard work it takes to just keep the town running. If the current relationship between Council democrats and republicans is any indication of what November's election is going to be like we're in for some major BS and unnecessary drama this fall.

I think a bi-partisan Council is best as it should more accurately reflect the opinions of residents. I hope the republican party can find some November candidates with common sense and at least the pretense to want to work and accomplish goals with the democrats on the council.

Dinner and a Show

2005-02-16T12:00:00.000-05:00

Guest bloggin' from the AH Muse Arts Editor and my wife, Erinn. Enjoy!

So couple of weekends ago, the AH Muse editor and I had our first close encounter with community theater (Dancing at Lughnasa, Monmouth Players). Aside from a few stark ohgod-I-really-am-in-my-thirties-if-I’m-doing-something-like-this moments, it was entirely enjoyable (I should note that this can also happen to me during routine parenting tasks; I’m learning to deal with it better).

We were long overdue to see one of the Monmouth Players productions as CJ (aka Carl) Nolan, our local council rep and sometime pal has performed in oodles of these shows. Seems like he’s always handing Tim or me a new postcard advertising the details of his latest engagement. Most of the time, we politely pocket the materials and then later, say before bed, spend a few minutes wondering what fresh brand of Waiting for Guffman horror we might find at said venue. I know, pretty immature, right? Can’t help it though -- I did some (limited) stage work in high school and the VHS footage my folks took of it is effing frightening and blackmail-worthy.

Anyhow, thrilled to report that it was an excellent night out – a little nosh at Indigo Moon (thanks to Mr. & Mrs. Donaghy for the gift certificate) beforehand and a rush to make the 8:15 curtain call. The usher fellow had a podium lit like a matre d’s and he looked down his shadowed nose at us a bit when we arrived at 8:17 saying, “You must be the Hills,” but then smiled and shuffled us quickly to our seats in the second row.

At this point, I was thinking: Crap. Second row? We’re totally exposed. What if we’re not good community theater people? (Snickering, laughing at all the wrong moments, getting sleepy, whatever.) Turns out, we didn’t need to be. These folks are talented -- turning out many believable, tender, and whole-hearted performances -- supported by a kind set and appropriate lighting design. And, to boot, in a very charming play.

Seriously, who are these people who hold down day jobs and then opt to memorize and rehearse two hours of dialogue --spoken entirely in a Brogue–in order to entertain 50 suburbanites on a Saturday night? Fascinating folks.

It’s kinda strange that in the end, the only thing that bothered me about the event was that I felt uncomfortable with the audience size – these performers, their performances, would only gain momentum from the response of a larger crowd. So, if you can catch them this weekend or next (Feb. 18th, 19th, 20th, 25th, or 26tth), please do. They deserve more eyes.

The AH Muse Editor and I are already thinking about arriving slightly late for seats at their April production of Neil Simon’s Laughter on the 23rd Floor. See www.monnouthplayers.org for details.

Top 10 Most Unromantic Ways to Spend Valentine's Day in Atlantic Highlands

2005-02-11T13:45:00.000-05:00

10. Take your wife or girlfriend shopping at Arjay's - "That rifle is HOT on you honey."
9. Champagne and ribs at Memphis Pig Out - "Let me get that bbq sauce on your cheek for you. Hmmm....cheek sauce."
8. Snuggle up at the Scenic Liquors bar - "I love your scent - is it Winston Lights or Marlboro Reds?"
7. File for divorce at Borough Hall - "Couldn't we do this tomorrow?"
6. Ms. Pacman and the whites at the laundromat - "Your t-shirts have hamburger pits!"
5. Go see the new Winnie the Pooh movie at Atlantic Cinema 5 - "Ah, a night out away from the kids."
4. Jagermeister and schnitzel at the Hofbrauhaus - "When I get that feelin', I need Jagermeister and schnitzel..."
3. Pick up "the paper" at Foxhaus - "It's not mine! I swear!"
2. Hire a Seastreak captain to renew your vows on the way to work - "This IS NOT the cruise I had in mind."
1. Get a 1 hour room at the Leonardo Motel - "Oh sweetheart, the neon lights remind me of when we eloped in Vegas."

He's Not Heavy, He's My Brother

2005-02-11T13:33:00.000-05:00

“You’re actually cooking [the dinner] yourself,” Stanton pointed out. “It’s a lot of fun. The server will give you everything you need, including the tools, spices and sauces, and the cooking times.” What will those hip people in Red Bank think of next? Looks like Atlantic Highlands will have to go find a cook-your-own-fondue restaurant to move in now.

Don't be a library hater. Be a library lover. Or, at the very least, become a friend (with benefits?) of the library.

Acting Governor Richard Codey's brother got a nice raise the other day. It's good to know people in high places. I use to think it was scandalous when then Hoboken mayor Anthony Russo used to park his city-issued SUV on the sidewalk and stumble into the pub I lived on top of but after McGreevy and this Russo looks like a model citizen. [via The Jersey Side]

I'd really like to report on some more local buzz but news is slow coming. There's quite a bit of ~~partisan bickering~~ chatter going on in the Atlantic Highlands Herald forums but as I couldn't attend this past Wednesday's council meeting I can't really comment on it just yet.

In the absence of news there's always tequila! Register, drink and slur Spanish as you stumble home. Arriba! Arriba! Ándele! Ándele! Más tequila. Oh, dios mio.

Could you imagine a British company buying the Yankees? How do you think English soccer fans feel about the owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers trying to buy Manchester United?

Yawn

2005-02-09T17:20:00.000-05:00

Fairly slow news day except for a scary incident at the Leonardo Motel. I'm sure things will pick up tomorrow when all the local weeklies come out.

I'll take this opportunity to point out some updates to your right. I've added some new links to the blogroll, specifically other blogs that comment on New Jersey issues and politics.

The Jersey Side is a blog written by John Shabe of NJ.com. John covers the entire state and provides a pretty robust blogroll that links to all kinds of things New Jersey - including the Muse.
DynamoBuzz is written by a metalhead father of three who dislikes "yuppie snobs who are always trying to impress you with their fine taste in wine, cars and vacation spots." The site is very informative and gives you a red-hued point of view on NJ politics.
The Bad Hair Blog is written by Fausta Wertz of Princeton. She writes about Princeton, NJ politics and does a nice round-up of what other NJ bloggers are talking about.
BuzzMachine is one of the most influential blogs in the country. Written by Jeff Jarvis, BuzzMachine covers media, politics, the First Amendment, and a bunch of other topics and issues. Jarvis was the person who after investigating "all the complaints" ABC received after the Nicollete Sheridan/Terrell Owens locker room promo on Monday Night Football found that the complaints were basically chain letters and only three original complaints (of 159) were received.

Hope you enjoy some of these other sites and check back in tomorrow.

Monday Monday

2005-02-07T17:50:00.000-05:00

Keyport has scheduled a public hearing on 2/14 to discuss a proposal to turn three acres of asphalt parking lots into a waterfront park. A similar idea was expressed here by Benson Chiles in regards to our own harbor. Perhaps the town should send a representative to the hearing as hopefully AH will one day be debating this very same issue. Should the proposal move forward it would provide a good case study as we think about the long-term vision of our harbor.

Want to pay your parking tickets online? Or email your complaints to Borough Hall? Then stop by Wednesday's Borough Hall meeting and listen to a presentation from Cit-E-Net. I don't know much about Cit-E-Net but I've clicked around their site and they look legit - Parsippany currently uses them for online tax payments. Their business model reminds me of a fascinating documentary, Dot.Com, that followed an Internet start-up selling this same type of service. (Also, if anyone has spent time navigating the town's current website you know it desperately needs help.)

Also on the agenda is a request from the AH Chamber of Commerce for "Friday Night Music." I don't know the details but being the brainiac that I am I'm assuming this means the Chamber is looking for permission to have live music somewhere in town on Friday nights. I've got no problem with that - great idea. But please mix up the bands. And try to avoid guys playing acoustic guitar over pre-recorded music on fancy karaoke machines. I know karaoke is experiencing some sort of hipster renaissance because of Lost In Translation and some downtown NYC bars, but karaoke is really an evil, evil thing.

Speaking of (somewhat) indie movies, Lou Taylor Pucci, from Keansburg, won a Sundance Film Festival special jury prize for his role in Thumbsucker. [via The Jersey Side] He's also a member of a group in Red Bank called Improv Jam that performs on Saturday nights at the Internet Cafe.

As I was strolling down First Avenue over the weekend I noticed something delightful. It looks like I will no longer have to bathe myself with rendered animal fat (second to last item). Some sort of organic store is moving in next to Cheng's Garden and I'm assuming they'll have some kind of rendered animal fat-free soap.

Beach replenishment is destroying the best surfing spots on Sandy Hook and the rest of Monmouth County's beaches. The surfing lobby - dude, you like totally have to do this - convinced Rep. Frank Pallone and the EPA that a good compromise would be to construct an artificial reef. Rad.

New Jersey has it own P.J. O'Rourke. Tom Schneider's JerseyGOP website proclaims that he's "putting the party back in the Grand 'Ol Party." He even has a Republican Babe of the Week page.

Headline News

2005-02-04T17:25:00.000-05:00

Some quick summaries of what's going on. Catch y'all over the weekend.

Fred Rast experienced an epiphany one restless night and "suggested" the town build a new parking garage with retail space and a new town library on Railroad Avenue. Mayor Donoghue responded by saying, "the devil is in the details, of course. However, On the face of it, it sounds like a very attractive idea." Translation: get some sleep Fred. He may be on to something though. I think Railroad Ave. has potential for some interesting things. At the next council meeting Rast will explain how the town can secure the parking garage and all the library books using state of the art lazor beams.

The Friends of the Atlantic Highlands Library invite you to learn more about their organization on Tuesday, February 8th at 7:00.

AH resident William Eaton bodyslams Jack Archibald in a letter to the AH Herald. I have to say Jack has been very quiet in his Body Politic column the past couple of weeks. How long can that last?

Don't take the brown acid. Or the cyanide laced heroin. No, wait, our mistake party on. Just don't take anything to help your asthma.

Old people are trying to corrupt our youth with bingo. They must be stopped.

The county is close to raising the balance of the money needed to complete the 9/11 memorial at Mount Mitchell. I visited the memorial after it opened in September, 2004 and think whoever was in charge did a wonderful job. The landscaping is nice and the memorial, once the sculpted eagle is finished, I'm sure will be impressive. The new playground was also very well done. You can contribute to the memorial here.

From around the Internets:

Petition to make the Daily Show an hour long [via BuzzMachine]
Alternative Valentine's Day Cards from local humorist, Ben Kharakh
Friday Lists from McSweeney's, including necrophiliac pick-up lines.
Kinky Friedman is going to run for governor of Texas. Yee-haw! [via The Morning News]
Geraldo Riveria will shave his mustache if Michael Jackson is convicted of child molestation. We live in a strange, strange world.

Main Street

2005-02-03T00:05:00.000-05:00

Some of the things I want to address, in this posting, should have been provided in one of the Muse's postings before the holidays.

First, I would like to address the necessity that you brush your teeth. For your information, local pharmacies and grocery stores provide, at a nominal charge, toothbrushes, which look like small hairbrushes. They have rubber grips that allow for secure handling while moving the brush up and down over your teeth and gums.

Many of us have a desire to brush our teeth in our homes. Those that do, mostly have regular toothbrushes. There are various ways to store your toothbrush when you are not actively brushing your teeth. You can obtain these toothbrush-storing systems by visiting most home goods stores.

The State of New Jersey "strongly recommends" taking care of your teeth. If you deprive children of proper dental care you could be held liable for poor, even failed, parenting. Beyond the fear of being held responsible, none of us want any cavities as a result of us being careless with our kids' dental care.

I can remember being a 10 or 11-years-old and going to sleepovers and thinking I don't have to brush my teeth because my mother wasn't around to make me. Thankfully, my friends had good parents too and they made me brush my teeth.

One of my friends had a father who was a dentist and preached preventive care all the time to his son. I can remember the son instructing me how to properly floss. The training given by my friend's father to his son, which was passed on to us, probably protected us all from ever being injured by the loaded weapon that is gingivitis.

The point is that children are curious. If you keep sweets in the house, make sure you have a good high shelf and a pretty ceramic jar that says "cookies" on it to keep them in. In a kitchen full of chairs, stools and cookbooks. More modern kitchens use motion detecting laser beams to protect the cookies and assorted Oreos and vanilla wafers. If you return home and hear the motion alarm going off and see a cracked ceramic jar on the floor with crumbs all around it you know someone has been snooping around your cookie jar. Kids always find the cookie jar and you will forever be brushing their teeth. There is no need keep a cookie jar full of cookies and plenty of ladder building furniture and books in your kitchen.

With regard to electric toothbrushes, many of us have been fascinated with them since we were young children. Cleary, they need extra attention as the combination of electric currents and water can be fatal. An electric toothbrush with no battery power left does not need to be stored out of the reach of children but can be left on a vanity. The main thought is that you shouldn't just leave your toothbrush lying around with toothpaste on it. Toothpaste dispensers and toothbrushes should be stored in a reasonable proximity for efficient and effective brushing. Mouthwash itself can be dangerous if ingested. Especially Listerine.

Children can play with toothpaste, and could have an accidental discharge by squeezing the tube too tight. The top of the tube of toothpaste sometimes cannot withstand the pressure of a four-year squeezing the tube and leakage, and a mess, could occur. They can also push the button on the top of fancy toothpaste pumps. The button is the part of the pump that causes the toothpaste to discharge. If someone were to push that e-z toothpaste dispenser, as it is correctly advertised, forcefully, the toothpaste could shoot out and again, cause a mess to your bathroom and the individual's clothes playing with said e-z dispenser.

Those of us that display our toothbrushes should look into getting a toothbrush holder that mounts to the wall so that the toothbrush is easily available for use and displayed when not in use. Many of the newer wall mounts have a cup holder as well for those of us who enjoy rinsing our teeth after a good brush.

Many people question the American Dental Society (ADA) because they actually don't understand the ADA. The ADA is responsible for promoting dental care more than any other organization within the country. Four out five dentists are trained by the ADA. I strongly suggest that anyone that has teeth, even if you don't have all of them anymore, consider taking a dental care course provided by the ADA. The ADA is available at (312) 440-8900 and at the website http://www.ada.org/. If you contact the ADA, they can advise you of local ADA-certified dental hygienists, that teach you dental care as well as the general handling of a toothbrush and those pesky floss dispensers.

Also, all the dental hygienists and dentists that practice within the state of New Jersey, have available a videotape that utilizes talking fruit to communicate the importance of proper dental care to young ones. This videotape is excellent. I recently obtained a copy for myself and my daughter, who is now starting to become her own tooth brusher. The videotape covers proper dental care and the four basic food groups. I strongly suggest that even those of you that have brushed your teeth for years obtain a copy of the tape, just to refresh your recollection.

In closing, I hope that everyone strongly considers making sure that any teeth in the home are properly cared for with toothbrush and toothpaste separate until you are ready to brush.

I wish everyone a safe and plaque free new year.

Oh, so you think I'm nuts? Check out Frederick Rast III's "Main Street" in the Atlantic Highlands Beacon.
[You may need to click on the picture once or twice in Internet Explorer until a picture icon appears allowing you to increase the size of the image]

All Aboard?

2005-02-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

The winter doldrums are subsiding (the ice, however, is not) and (some) buzz is returning to town. The Atlantic Highlands Herald reported that a member of the mayor's Waterfront Advisory Committee proposed applying for a one million dollar grant to help acquire the Giuliani property. The committee's original recommendation from October, 2004 can be seen here. More thoughts on the development of the harbor can be read in the Muse's comments section from 1/28.

I think there are some fantastic ideas here. As I replied, I think there will be some resistance to parts from commuters and thus Seastreak, and perhaps even the town; however, I think that we have a nice vision of how out town could progress and evolve. To have soccer fields where existing parking lots are on the harbor would be incredible and anyone who has a problem riding a trolley has serious issues - that's just fun. The vision that Benson has presented combined with the (one day?) completion of the bike trail would make Atlantic Highlands an even more special town than it is already. I really feel the sky is the limit - with smart planning we can balance the needs of residents, businesses, commuters, boaters, republicans, democrats, independents, libertarians, librarians, guys named Phil and everyone else who has an opinion on the future of our town. Plus, I'm banking on driving that trolley once I retire from the Big Apple commute. I even have my trolley driver hat picked out.

I encourage readers to share their thoughts in the comments section or by emailing me something they would like posted for others to consider.

Congrats to Allan Dean on his Atlantic Highlands Herald being named an official newspaper by the county Freeholders. According to the Herald, Monmouth the first county to name an exclusively electronic official newspaper. Very progressive. Progress is not a bad thing is it?

I know from reading the Herald that Mr. Dean has been trying very hard to get his electronic newspaper recognized by Borough Hall as an official newspaper. I also know that the publisher of the Bayshore Courier, Jim Purcell, took some shots at the Herald in an editorial last week for not meeting all the requirements of the state law regarding official newspapers (a pretty ridiculous topic for him to address in an editorial as all he was basically doing was advertising his legal notices advertising department). I find the reporting on the Herald a bit partisan at times but it does provide a good forum for residents to share opinions.

Speaking of an opinion - my opinion is that THESE GUYS ARE NUTS!

Five guys are going to row from Atlantic Highlands - you know, in New Jersey - to Rotterdam - the one in Holland! Unbelievable! First they'll head over from New York and then prepare to break a world record by making the journey in 55 days. They're doing this for the Dutch Cancer Society. I hope the town is planning to give them a big send off. Totally cool. Check out the website if you don't believe me. Thanks to Tim Holt, GM of the Blue Bay Inn, for the scoop.

Last week I wrote that I was looking for a home weaponry storage system for my various samurai swords, nun chucks and brass knuckles. Well, who would have thought that when I opened the pages of our very own Atlantic Highlands Beacon the answer would be right in front of me! Our very own ~~Dirty Harry~~ Fred Rast made it simple: an old bike lock. I've got like four of those in my garage. Egggcellllllllent.

I'm going to scan the article and post it here for those of you who missed it. I will also thoroughly ridicule it.

Miller Time

2005-01-28T17:10:00.000-05:00

Hello Friday. Oh how I've missed you.

That George Severini character at the Two River Times is one funny cat. Much funnier than the new publisher Michael Gooch. I've been reading Gooch's editorials over the past few weeks and I think he should just start a blog - who cares about the "news" about his "nice cordovan loafers" getting potentially ruined while walking to the ferry? Or about the "crappy situation" he's in because it's too cold for his puppies to go outside. This is our local news?

Speaking of local news (from the tantalizing pages of the Bayshore Courier's public notices):

Section 2. AGENCY DESIGNATION The local enforcing agency shall be the Atlantic Highlands Fire Department through its Division of Fire Prevention, which is hereby created therein. The Division of Fire Prevention shall herein after be known as the local enforcing agency.

I am ALL FOR THIS DIVISION! Prevent fires! Stop the insanely loud fire alarm!

Here's a poem about Atlantic Highlands and the transformative birth of creativity rejuvenating our town. I liked the part about skinny dipping.

Seriously, can anyone tell me why there's not some sort of (even seasonal) protective covering on the pier we use for the ferry? I've heard local environmentalists are against it and I've heard it can't be done because of the boat slips. I don't need Seastreak or Atlantic Highlands to roll out a red carpet every time I walk down the pier but give me a break - it's #$%&*!^ nasty out there!

The Night's Songwriters Showcase/Winter Benefit Concert is tonight. Tickets are only $10.

Stuff from around the Internets:

Comic book legend Stan Lee is creating a superhero movie and TV series featuring Ringo Starr. [via The Morning News]
Beware of Orville Redenbacher Microwave Kettle Corn!
U2 tickets for the Continental Arena go on sale Monday. I'm special, I got 2 already! Shasta!
Area teen sets world record for balancing eggs.
Check out the Snoop Dogg Shizzolator, paste the AH Muse url - www.ahmuse.blogspot.com - into the Shizzolator, light a blunt, crack open a 40 and enjoy.

Back in Five

2005-01-27T17:08:00.000-05:00

I've not been drinking enough coffee this week thus the lack of my insightful, witty and humorous posts. I plan on brewing up a nice big pot this weekend and will catch up with all the breaking news.

Speaking of coffee, when I first told this to someone this morning they asked me what I was smoking. Seastreak bought 8 boxes of Dunkin Donuts coffee this morning to serve on the 7:00 am boat because the water line froze and they couldn't make coffee. That's, like, what do they call it....customer service? I made sure to thank the whole crew, send a thank-you email and call the office. I've learned from my wife, who's a nursery school teacher, that positive reinforcement always helps when training kids, husbands, dogs and ferry operators.

Yer Yeller

2005-01-24T20:10:00.000-05:00

The snow just isn't as much fun when you're running late trying to make one of a handful of ferries to take you to work so you can slog through city slush all to, uh, WORK. Yippee. Ugh. All in all though it wasn't too bad. In fact, after hopping a cab from Wall St. I arrived at work just about the same time I do most days.

Could someone please inform Borough Hall, ~~TGIFriday's~~ Harborside Grill and Harbor management to shovel the freakin' sidewalks. I heard a rumor that if I didn't shovel my sidewalk for a certain period of time after a snow storm I could be held liable if someone slipped and cracked their head open in front of my house. I don't know the legal particulars but I know stretches of sidewalks on First Avenue were still knee deep with snow this morning. Don't you people know I have a hard enough time walking to the boat with one eye partially open on nice days? Jeesh.

Paul Boyd, town historian, published an interesting article in the Asbury Park Press today. Stores in Atlantic Highlands had some of the first kinetoscopes, which were precursors to the vitagraph and projected movies. The article also mentions that silent and talkie movie actor Fritz Leiber lived in town and that William Randolph Hearst used to stay in town frequently when docking his steam schooner. This is reassuring. We now know all the drama and yellow journalism (see rumors item below) we're currently subjected to has been going on for a long long time - it's not just us.
[More to follow on yellow journalism later this week, I'm busy right now trying to find a lock-box to lock up all my swords, nunchucks and Chinese stars lest my three year old gets all Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon on me. Does anyone know someone I can talk to about proper home weaponary storage?]

Will you look all these rumors, surrounding me everyday... (that one goes way back to 1986).
From the Atlantic Highlands Herald forums:

Perhaps Mr. Dean should reconsider publishing rumors like this if he wants his AH Herald to become an official town newspaper.

[You can click here for a larger screen capture if you are unable to read the forum postings above.]

Snow Day

2005-01-23T16:43:00.000-05:00

I don't know when the Shore Casino's Winter Glow Ball was but the sign was certainly appropriate today - I've been having a winter ball all weekend. I don't think the official tally matters much, we got dumped on. Here are a few scenes from around town on Sunday.

By early afternoon the local sledding hill had a pretty good crowd despite some nasty wind and cold temperatures.

I'm assuming the harbor will present some problems for the Monday morning commute. Ferry service was cancelled all weekend and as of 4:00 PM on Sunday no decision had been made regarding service on Monday.

The top of East Highland Ave. was beautiful Sunday morning.

The Front Porch Club was forced to move indoors to the living room this weekend but good times were had nonetheless. I think it was sometime around the second body and soul warming scotch that I again realized what an unbelievable town we live in. After a little shoveling, an extra layer of clothes and short walk around the block, winter cheer and a toasty fire were shared among friends.

Cheers Ol' Man Winter!

Freaky Cold Friday

2005-01-21T17:00:00.000-05:00

Busy week crunching numbers is now winding down. TGIF. The weekend is upon us and soon snow will be falling on us - four to eight inches is predicted Saturday through Sunday. Two words: WOO-HOO!

Tickets are on sale for a dinner/dance at the Hofbrauhaus to honor and welcome home members of the military from the Bayshore area serving in Iraq. [via Asbury Park Press]

The Atlantic Highlands Elementary School is raising money for tsunami victims with two fundraisers, according to the Atlantic Highlands Herald. Apparently the "gifted" kids thought it was a good idea to sell buttons with what looks like a tidal wave on it. I'm certainly no cop for the sensitive PC police but couldn't they have thought of a better button to sell? They are "gifted and talented" after all. This is like raising money for cancer by selling buttons with a picture of a tumor on it.

Jack Archibald takes the "Donoughue Administration" (his favorite phrase) to task for micro-managing Borough Hall and driving away talented town employees. There's also something about turmoil, again.

Councilman Carl Nolan takes the gloves off and responds to Archibald's claims of turmoil in a letter to the AH Herald:

The current openings in Borough Hall are a challenge, but all it really means is that the Mayor and the Personnel Committee - Councilwoman Ladiana, Councilman Fligor and myself - have to work even harder to rebuild the staff. But be sure that it will be twenty times more work than Councilman Archibald has put out for the Borough in the past couple of years.

Anyone want to bet Archibald retaliates in his next column? Stay tuned, same bat time, same bat channel. Same bat gripes week in and week out.

"I cannot think of anything untoward or even toward that I did in Atlantic Highlands. Maybe I could get elected or appointed to something there. Town wise guy, maybe?" George Severini confesses to past crimes in the Two River Times.

Start your weekend with some fun:

24% of players picked U2 as the best band in the world. You can play too.
DISCARDED TITLES FOR GEORGE ORWELL'S 1984: O, Brother, Where Art Thou? Oh Right, Everywhere. See the entire list, and others, at McSweeney's.
Talk about irony. Norwegians interpret Bush's "hook 'em horns" salute to the Univ. of Texas Longhorns as a satanic gesture.
Mmmmmmm.....beer

New content areas coming soon. Interviews, reviews and recipes - oh my!

Things you can do to help the Muse:

send feedback
post comments
cook your favorite dish and invite me over to taste and review it
mix your favorite cocktail and invite me over to taste and review it
mix another one
send in reviews of movies and books
spread the word
maybe just one more
return my John Denver CD

Happy shoveling!

Flask Weather

2005-01-18T17:20:00.000-05:00

As if you didn't know, it's freaking cold out! The high today is 20 degrees - indoors! Here's the forecast for the week. Looks like snow on Wednesday and even colder temperatures later in the week. As one commuter put it this morning, "it's flask weather."

The Atlantic Highlands Elementary School will be raising money for the tsunami relief efforts. I don't have the details yet, but it looks like students will be selling buttons for $1. Check back later this week for updates.

Stress got you up late at night? Fall asleep fast, read public notices!

Voodoo clams? Sounds, uh, yummy? Almost as good as voodoo liver or my pagan aunt's voodoo stew. Check out Lynn Azzolina's seven-course dinner ad review from Gaiter's.

"Freedom of speech must be based on facts - not fiction or some cockamamie theory." The Bishop is ranting again - this time on "eco-maniacs." On this trip inside the head of New Jersey's first Journalist of the Year we fly from the First Ammendmant to Michael Crichton to liberals/socialists trying to transform America into a Marxist state. There's even room for Michael Moore. Keep your hands and feet inside at all times - it's a bumpy ride.

I just came across the website for Atlantic Artisans. Go buy some art you knucklehead.

Friday I'm In Love

2005-01-14T17:25:00.000-05:00

The weathermen got it right. The mild temperatures held through to this morning and then I literally felt the temperature drop 10 degrees on the commute in (and it continued dropping throughout the day). Nasty nasty rain on the high seas today. But it is Friday.

So, shall we see what's shaking in the AH Herald...

Bishop Gordon takes us on a stream of consciousness ride with his tirade on the New York Times and its position on the Jets' West Side stadium. How in the world did he win "Journalist of the Year" and become a "national award-winning author" with writing like this:

...Herbert’s column on November 15 blasted the $1.4 billion proposed stadium backed by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg and New York Governor George Pataki.

Why?

Because The Times doesn’t want it.

Herbert, the paper’s “token” black OP-ED columnist, prefers that any public funds for the stadium be spent instead for toilet paper and gymnasiums, athletic fields and playgrounds for the city’s impoverished public schools.

I guess Herbert forgot about the infamous $6 billion Westway project I investigated in the mid-1980s, a project so massive it would have filled up almost half of the lower Hudson River for four miles.

What? (Bob) Herbert writes he's not in favor of the stadium + Herbert believes that tax payer money should go toward better funding for NYC's public schools rather than a stadium for the Jets = Herbert forgetting something the Bishop investigated 20 years ago that is completely unrelated. Huh? I suppose Herbert did forget. All he was saying was that the money was better spent on playgrounds for kids in the city and not on a stadium for the Jets. I've no idea what the Bishop is talking about.

Paul Boyd praises the restoration work being done on the building at 33 First Avenue, across from the ~~TGI Friday's~~ Harborside Grill. I agree, the building is going to look great. Can anyone tell me what's moving in? I'm assuming a restaurant. I'm hoping a steakhouse. I think a nice steakhouse would draw a lot of business from the area as I don't know of any really good ones nearby. Note to Atlantic Highlands restaurateurs - if you build it they will come. Something like Uncle Jack's would be perfect.

Me thinks the AH Democrats should start their own online newspaper lest they continue getting slammed by Allan Dean and Jack "the Psychic" Archibald. Dean reports on the "rash of resignations" at Borough Hall and Archibald writes how the Dems "botched the backroom deal." Maybe the Dems are attempting to stay above the fray but it'd be nice to hear from them every once in a while.

Sister Catherine Iacouzze, a 69-year-old nun at St. Cecelia’s Parochial School in Iselin, was charged with harassment for saying to one of her (misbehaving) students, 'With an attitude like this, you’re lucky you have all your teeth.' The boy's father eventually dropped the charges at Woodbridge Municipal Court and Sister Iacouzze promptly rapped him five times on the knuckles with a ruler. I wonder how many Hail Mary's one's given after Confession for bringing a nun to court on harassment charges?

Some fun content:

Great Adventure will open next spring with a new addition, Kingda Ka, the world's tallest and fastest roller coaster.
New Fox show set in Point Pleasant premiers January 19th at 9:00 (channel 5).
Students of SNL preview this weekend's show with Topher Grace and The Killers.
The New Yorker reviews The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.
Steve eats/drinks things that you and I wouldn't. Like a box of cereal from 1991, Ralph's Potted Meat Food Product and his wife's breast milk, with Hershey's chocolate syrup. Then he writes about it and you and I laugh. Check out Steve, Don't Eat It! Vol. 1

We should all reacquaint ourselves with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech I Have a Dream delivered August 28, 1963.

Spring Break in January

2005-01-12T17:50:00.000-05:00

February may not be the nicest time to take the ferry into New York for a stroll through Central Park, but The Gates installation by Christo and Jeanne-Claude should be a pretty fascinating sight. I suppose the rather bleak backdrop of Central Park's bare winter trees against the billowing bright orange fabric means something or will just provide some cool visuals to suburban teenagers on acid. Gothamist reports that work has started on the installation of the 23-mile-long project set to open on 2/12. (Did anyone catch them alliterations?)

The Nets' Richard Jefferson is most likely out for the season with a ruptured ligament in his left wrist. Even if the Nets manage to make the playoffs it looks like their hopes for an NBA Championship are on hold until next season. With no NHL this season, the Nets doomed and spring training over a month away, New Jersey sports fans should turn their attention to the Rutgers women's basketball team. After upsetting three nationally ranked teams over an eight-day stretch Rutgers moved up to number 4 in the AP Poll. Last night they continued their six game winning streak with a victory over Pitt.

It looks like doctors' offices and pharmacies will continue to stay busy as the local weather continues its roller coaster ride this winter. The National Weather Service website shows a high of 62 degrees on Thursday then a low of 25 degrees on Friday. That's just stupid.

Tonight is the International Children's Art Exhibition at the elementary school. Click here for more info (last item).

From the New York Daily News:

Wall Street will be watching the New Jersey governor's race carefully this year. Should Sen. Jon Corzine win, it could lead to a 2008 bid for the White House. (Bill Clinton and President Bush were both governors before becoming President.) "He'd gain executive experience, he knows the legislature, he's a Democrat." Best of all, says our Street source, the former co-chairman of Goldman Sachs "is pro-business. What's not to like?" ...

Interesting, no? A bearded president? Not since Benjamin Harrison in 1893.

I hope this test isn't as hard as Bishop Gordon's:

From: "AHHerald Forums"
To: Tim Hill
Subject: Welcome to AHHerald Forums
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 21:16:36 +0000
Welcome, ahmuse!
Your username is: ahmuse, and your password is XXXXXXX
Your account must first be approved before you may use your account. You will receive another email shortly informing you of the admin's decision.
Regards,
The AHHerald Forums Team.

30 minutes later...still no word on the admin's decision. I didn't know a background check was required to read/post comments on the town forum. I feel like a total failure.

Oh, btw, we stopped looking for WMDs. Last month. News to me (and everyone else).

Atlantic Highlands Muse Updates

2005-01-12T17:33:00.000-05:00

You can receive an email every time The Atlantic Highlands Muse is updated. Please email me at hill_timothy@hotmail.com to sign up.

Beer and Wine

2005-01-11T21:40:00.000-05:00

A search for Atlantic Highlands on ebay yielded some interesting results, including the above postcard (there are quite a few vintage postcards up for auction) as well as a 1929 $5 bill from the Atlantic Highlands National Bank.

Will the hottest new FOX show next season be the The OC, NJ?

Yesterday I cited an article in the Asbury Park Press about oceanic windmills along the Jersey Shore. This was all news to me but apparently the issue has been around for a while. Here's an archive of articles from the Press.

35% of New Jersey residents are "unfamiliar" with acting Governor Codey. These folks would fail miserably on item 4 of Gordon Bishop's "are you eligible to vote test." FYI, 2 - 3 million people (around the world) are familiar with Bishop Gordon, uh, I mean Gordon Bishop.

Only the Sons of Ireland would get drunk enough to go for a swim in Seabright on New Year's Day. I can say that because I'm half Irish. And approaching half drunk right now. Wait, wait, gulp gulp. Aaaaah, 50-50. There was also fund-raising involved for good stuff.

Speaking of good stuff, and more drinking. Julie Page is hosting a food and wine tasting at The Ocean Club. Details:

Date: Sunday, March 6th
Time: 5:00 pm
Price: $60/person
What: 4-5 sumptuous courses, selected wines, and an opportunity to meet with our fellow front porchers and friends.
RSVP: Email Julie by February 18th

Pirates of the Raritan

2005-01-10T17:30:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Elise Farnsworth for forwarding the email that SeaStreak sent commuters on 12/20/04 regarding the new fares that became effective 12/21/04.

From: "Contact,Seastreak" <contact@seastreak.com>
Date: Monday December 20, 2004 04:22 PM
Subject: SeaStreak Update
Effective Tuesday, December 21, SeaStreak will no longer be selling 120 tripbooks. Passengers currently holding 120 trip books will be able to utilize these tickets until the expiration date. As well, SeaStreak will no longer be accepting checks at any of our ticketsales locations. Please note that SeaStreak accepts American Express, Visa, MasterCard, Discover and Debit cards...

The email then goes on to ~~explain~~ announce the new fares.
[Related item: Scandals Scandals Everywhere - 3rd item]

There were a couple of interesting articles in the New Jersey section of the New York Times yesterday. Peter King, a Montclair resident who writes for Sports Illustrated, sums up the NFL and other sports news on his Monday Morning Quarterback blog. The Times also had an article about how Maplewood, NJ is struggling to balance the retail to service ratio of businesses in its quaint village. The article sites that Maplewood has a population of 23,000 and three nail salons (the town thinks that's too many). We have a population of 5,000 and we have three nail salons! Perhaps we should change our town slogan from "The Jewel of the Bayshore" to "Atlantic Highlands, Our Women and Metrosexuals have the Best Kept Nails in Monmouth County." Unfortunately the Times does not post the Sunday New Jersey section online so I can't link to the story. All joking aside, our village keeps improving and we've seen some interesting businesses move in, but the article does raise some issues that we should consider as we continue to add charm to our village.

Like no more nail salons.
[Related item: New Year's Resolutions - #2]

The Asbury Park Press reported today that a company named Atlantic Renewable Energy Corp. of Richmond, Va. (recently purchased by PPM Energy) is studying the viability of building oceanic windmills along the Jersey shore as means of generating power. Acting Governor Codey has created a "blue-ribbon" panel to review and make policy recommendations on the issue. Looks like the camps that'll duke this one out are coastal conservationists and commercial fisherman vs. those in favor of developing alternate energy strategies for the region - including Lester Starnes, an Atlantic Highlands marine-business owner who said "critics have to have their head totally buried somewhere. It's just the most viable thing that we need." I'm sure my existing energy provider, First Energy, will weigh in on the matter eventually as well. The interesting twist is that the windmills would need to be built in federal waters, not state waters, which could potentially limit New Jersey's ability to stop, or controll these initiatives.

Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives.

Comcast will be rolling out Internet phone service (VOIP - voice over Internet protocol) over the next couple of years starting with 20 markets this year. As one has come to expect, Comcast is going to charge too much for this service - $39.95/month. I currently use Vonage (based in Edison, NJ) over my Comcast Internet connection and it costs $25/month for unlimited local and long-distance. In fact, Vonage has lowered its price twice since I signed up almost six months ago.

It's only Monday but here's something to look forward to: Topher Grace hosts SNL this week with musical guest The Killers.

Thanks to everybody who wrote me over the past few days with suggestions, encouragement and feedback. I encourage people to post comments (click on the comment link at the end of a posting) if you have anything you want to add or share with other readers.

Weekend Do's and Don't

2005-01-07T17:44:00.000-05:00

Thing Not To Do This Weekend: show up at Hartshorne Park before 9:15 am. Laura Kirkpatrick, Public Information Officer for the Monmouth County Park System, was quoted in the Two River Times saying, "the public may encounter (deer) hunters exiting the park." Look out for the protestors too, Jeff Levine of Long Branch, who was protesting at the park on Tuesday said, "it's the people that are over-populated." Is that, like, a threat?

Thing To Do This Weekend: Dance, bowl, drink and get groovy (not necessary in that order) to the pop/punk/hip-hop music flavored dish that is DJ Hotdog at Asbury Park Lanes.

Some fun stuff from the past week:

Dave Eggers talks about the stage adaptation of Monty Python's Holy Grail.
My expenditures this fiscal year are of such magnitude they are best expressed as a metaphor involving a corpulent female. "Gentrification of Popular Rap Lyrics."
The Einstein Flip [via Kottke.org]
867-530 nine-ah-nine [via The Morning News]

Scandals Scandals Everywhere

2005-01-06T18:45:00.000-05:00

First, let's start off with a PSA. If you haven't donated anything to the tsunami relief effort Goin' Once can help and you don't even need to reach into your wallet. I'm sure everyone has a few items around the house that could be auctioned on ebay and Goin' Once will donate the net proceeds to one of the charity organizations below. Nice gesture by a new merchant in town. Try to support them.

Apparently, a scandal has been brewing at Borough Hall. Jack Archibald - aka Town Psychic (last item) - is accusing Councilman Carl Nolan of an ethics violation because as the democratic party treasurer "he" accepted a $4,800 campaign contribution from Seastreak. Now that Nolan has been re-appointed to the Harbor Commission Archibald thinks something smells fishy - "Is the Atlantic Highlands Harbor Commission For Sale?" Archibald suggests that Nolan should have resigned himself from the Harbor Commission because Seastreak is the harbor's largest tenant. I think maybe Archibald is trying to make a mountain out of a molehill here. The real scandal at the harbor is that I have to freeze my $%* off walking down the pier in rain, sleet, snow and wind when the folks in Highlands have a nice, cozy, heated pier with a fancy barge to stay warm in when the freaking boat is late.

Perhaps even more scandalous is the email Seastreak sent to riders a couple of weeks ago announcing fare increases. It must have been written by a bean counter and not someone who has to deal with customers on the phone or in person (I deleted my copy, if anyone still has it please forward it to me here). Worst is they didn't even allow people time to purchase a last book before the fares increased and they eliminated the 120-trip book (and savings) altogether. Seastreak has never been known for its customer service but this is a new low. Except the time they threw me overboard for getting drunk and challenging the captain to a duel until death doth take one of us matey. They're very touchy about the pirate thing. But still that was pretty mean. Anyway, Anne Smolenski Boiko sums up the new fare structure, comparing Seastreak and the nearly bankrupt New York Waterway ferry in Belford.
[Related items: New parking lot for Belford ferry first item and NJ Transit to operate Belford ferry? fourth item]

And another scandal! The New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection shut down the dredging of our harbor due to "numerous violations." Joe Reynolds digs deeper here.

AH Republicans - or at least the Republican council members (and one online newspaper publisher) - are up in arms over the January 1 town appointments.

The nationally ranked number 14 Scarlet Knights of Rutgers beat No. 1 LSU in overtime last night. Rutgers has also beaten Texas and Tennessee, two perennial powerhouses in women's college basketball. Look for Rutgers to move up in the polls and become a Final Four contender in March.

Let's end on a nice note too. [via Atlantic Highlands Herald]

1987 Redux

2005-01-05T17:50:00.000-05:00

The Night has posted its top 90 albums of 2004 ~~for thirtysomething white people~~. I think the list is good, albeit a bit nostalgic for the eighties. It includes Elvis Costello, Morrissey, The Cure, REM, U2, They Might Be Giants, Paul Westerburg, Camper Van Beethoven!, Robyn Hitchcock, Hothouse Flowers and Sonic Youth. Did I fall asleep on the couch and somehow wake up 20 years ago watching 12o Minutes? I just wish I'd hear some of these artists/albums when I tune into 90.5. The number one album really should be Whiny And Repetitive Acoustic Rock by Melodramatic Singer. I don't have anything against acoustic rock - I dug The Night's obsession with Dashboard Confessional last year - but it's getting to the point where sometimes I don't even bother tuning in. Unless I'm jonesing for Elvis Costello. That's The Night - acoustic whining, Elvis Costello and the Bluegrass Jam. Ya gots to mix it up people!

In case you didn't know, Jon Stewart will be at the Count Basie Theatre on January 29th. I'll be sippin' whiskey and playing Texas Hold 'Em but you should definitely go. Some other funnymen will be performing at Count Basie as well - Lewis Black on 2/27 and David Sedaris on 4/1.

For all the single ladies of Atlantic Highlands. Are you a "Nice/crazy/chill Girl That of Coarse Looks Good?" Then have I got the man for you.

Garrett - Male - 20 years old
Got problems like everyone, but plenty of things going my way. Good kids do bad things sometimes. Like trips when I have time. T. V. Is always relaxing, but I'm no couch potato. Active in bed. Sometimes I'm viewed as a bad guy, but I consider myself a real nice guy that does some bad things. I have a business e-mail, but use my old personel:.

Isn't the Internets great? Type in "Atlantic Highlands" and Google instantly gives you 922,000 links, including the above personal ad. It can even help you make bail!

The Independent is also reporting on Atlantic Highlands Herald columnist Amy Shore's newly adopted baby girl and book deal.

Potpourri

2005-01-04T17:45:00.000-05:00

The Asbury Park Press reported today that the Board of Freeholders awarded Birdsall Engineering Inc. of Eatontown a contract worth $143,500 for the construction of a parking terminal at the Belford ferry. Funny, New York Waterway is going bankrupt and there won't be any cars parking at the Belford terminal shortly. Here's an article summing up the commuter ferry ~~conspiracy~~ situation in the Bayshore region.
[Related: NJ Transit to operate ferry? - fourth item]

It was winter. It wasn't important that it was winter; it was just a bit cold. The season doesn't affect this story in any way. There's no reason for it to be brought up since it's a tale about Jim and how he got a job, which was strange because he hadn't worked before and he didn't need money for anything. He never bought sweets from fancy shops or had an urge to own expensive pants, but one day Jim decided that he would work at the Splurge 'N Leave.

Ben Kharakh, a 17-year-old Middletown resident, has started a humor magazine online called One Trick Pony. The excerpt above is from the piece Jim Got a Job. [via the Independent]

Do you bathe yourself with "particles of toxic chemicals like lye and noxious byproducts like rendered animal fat?" You sick disgusting pig. Get yourself to Soapmarket in Red Bank and feel fabulous. Why can't our town be hip like Red Bank and have a fancy soap shop? Why can't we have obnoxious women (who shouldn't be) in Juicy Couture warm-ups window shopping in our town? And effete men in driving moccasins carrying their girlfriends' shih-tzus and lattes? Is it that we're just not hip enough and will be relegated to a lifetime of "washing" ourselves with rendered animal fat? I hope we have an organic soap shop in the town's master plan. I feel dirty.
[Related: Red Bank Becomes Red State]

If you're a Wes Anderson fan you may scratch your head after reading this article. [via Gawker]. If you're a Bottle Rocket fan you'll enjoy this reproduction of Dignan's Five Year Plan.

RED BANK BECOMES RED STATE!

2005-01-02T20:38:00.000-05:00

Red State moral values crusaders have invaded Red Bank jeopardizing its reign as New Jersey's Hip City. A new town ordinance was approved 5-1 that controls the display of:

...any description, narrative account, display, depiction of a specified anatomical area or specified sexual activity containing in, or consisting of, a picture or other representation, publication, sound recording, live performance or film, which by means of posing, composition, format or animated sensual details, emits sensuality with sufficient impact to concentrate prurient interest in the area or activity.

The controversy started when a complaint was received that a store had some magazines with explicit material displayed in its window. Red Bank Councilman Pasquale Menna, the only person to vote against the ordinance, responded to this apparently way-unhip move by commenting, "other towns look to us to lead the way, and this ordinance makes us a laughing stock if were supposed to be a hip town." I don't know what to laugh at first. The ridiculous language of the ordinance? The fact that we "other towns" look to Red Bank to "lead the way"? Pardon the pun, but isn't this all a bit masturbatory?

My favorite part of the new ordinance is "emits sensuality with sufficient impact..." Could displaying Maxim qualify? Vogue? What about that sales girl in the Coco Pari window?

I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to cause "significant impact" but I know it when I feel it.

New Year's Resolutions

2004-12-31T09:33:00.000-05:00

Here are ten New Year's resolutions I'd like to see Atlantic Highlands make (and keep):

1. Book one band for the summer concert series that rocks out - even just a tiny tiny bit.
2. Entice one more nail salon to move to town because I have 2o digits to take care and only three options for keeping my cuticles trim.
3. Build a monorail!
4. Elect a new town Psychic.
5. Find the punk kids who stole the straps off my kayak trailer at the bay. And make them pay damnit!
6. Turn the siren up to 11! I'm just keeeeeding. Turn it down, way way way down. Please. Get some of those fancy new "beepers" and "GPS" tracking systems and "cell phones" and "Nextel walkie-talkies" or some CB radios and a few carrier pigeons (it is a small town).
7. Exercise more (see number 8).
8. Complete the bike trail. Somehow, someway. Just figure it out already.
9. Do something about the stretch of First Ave. from 36 to East Highland to make it look like the rest of downtown.
10. Stop complaining about all the "traffic" on First Ave.

Yin and Yang

2004-12-30T13:30:00.000-05:00

The human loss caused by the tsunami this past weekend is incomprehensible. Yahoo is reporting that the death toll has reached 114,000. CNN has posted a page listing a number of charity organizations helping to assist the victims here.

Does anyone else find it disturbing that the U.S. pledged $35 million in disaster relief money while the Bush inauguration Fund is trying to raise $40 - $50 million for the inauguration ceremonies (see last paragraph)? Yes, now Colin Powell is trying to make nice by saying the $35 millions was "just a beginning" but only because we got called "stingy." [via horkulated]
[Update: almost a week after the disaster the U.S. Government and Hollywood finally stepped up to the plate]

Just as it looks like the world is ending across the globe, a very uplifting story is unfolding in our backyard. The Atlantic Highlands Herald reports today that area resident and AHH columnist Amy Shore will be publishing a book chronicling her family's journey to adopt a baby girl from Guatemala. The book will be available in January. Congrats to Amy and her family on their adoption.

Jack Archibald puts away his crystal ball and asks readers to help predict the future. Where's that damn town Psychic when you need her? Questions range from, "Which month will Atlantic Highlands Democrats finally unveil their First Avenue revitalization plan?" - wasn't it revitalized with all those stupid curbs jutting out into First Avenue and the fancy new garbage cans? - to what celebrity marriage will last longer, Britney Spears-Federline or J. Lo-Anthony? Jack's also a pretty witty fella if you haven't noticed - he asked the same First Avenue question in 2003.

Almost White Christmas

2004-12-27T13:23:00.000-05:00

The first snowfall of the season came just a couple of days late for a white Christmas. Some kids made the most out of the light snowfall and got a few runs in on the local sledding hill Monday morning.

Joe Reynolds wrote a nice piece on what the changing season means for local wildlife. According to Joe we should keep an eye out for bald eagles, harbor seals and an occasional humpback whale.

Speaking of the weather. This tsunami business is very scary. The NY Times reports over 19,000 dead. Could this kind of thing happen here?

The Two River Times reports that a bill was introduced that would allow NJ Transit to operate the Belford ferry since it looks like NY Waterway is going belly up. However, according to the article, "Last week, Teri O'Connor, the assistant to Monmouth County Administrator Louis Paparozzi, said that 'NY Waterway assured us' that there would be 'no interruption' of the Belford ferry line." Anyone want to take bets? How did NY Waterway get into such dire straits? They received millions of dollars after September 11th to help with operating costs, the city of New York leased them docks in Manhattan for $1 a year and from what I've heard Arthur Imperatore Sr had more than a few politicians from both teams in his pocket.

The New York Times reports that a deal is close to sell the Hoboken and Jersey City routes to a group headed by a Manhattan lawyer (ninth item, subscription required):

FERRY OPERATOR GETS A REPRIEVE The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey yesterday gave New York Waterway, the financially troubled Hudson River ferry operator, permission to keep running ferries from Hoboken to the World Financial Center through February. The reprieve will give the company time to complete a sale of about half its operation to a group led by William B. Wachtel, a Manhattan lawyer. In a proposed deal announced yesterday, Mr. Wachtel's group would assume about $20 million of debt on 16 ferries and use them to operate routes between Lower Manhattan and docks in Hoboken and Jersey City. Charles A. Gargano, vice chairman of the Port Authority, said the deal would ensure that there is no disruption in commuter service across the Hudson.

I hope something comes together for the Belford run as well. As ferry ridership has increased over the past few years I don't see how Seastreak can support that many commuters, not to mention their cars. I've heard rumors that Seastreak may buy the Belford runs - perhaps with a little help from FEMA they could.

Perhaps Jack Archibald could replace our long lost Psychic? He drops some omnipresent knowledge on what's going on inside of Santa's bag and inside of local politicians' heads.

About The Atlantic Highlands Muse

2004-12-23T14:30:00.000-05:00

The Atlantic Highlands Muse is mostly a place for me to express my opinions on various issues affecting the town and surrounding area. Topics may also wander toward movies, food, music and general hilarity. As comments are encouraged this blog can also become a forum for many different people to share their thoughts.

I also want to let people know that another resident in town has the same name as me - Tim Hill. Tim is a very nice guy and very involved in youth sports and recreation. I just want people to be clear on which Tim Hill is authoring the site, lest he get wrongfully threatened with noodle whippings at a youth soccer match for taking an unpopular stance on some current town issue.

I welcome suggestions for topics - please email me at hill_timothy@hotmail.com.

I hope you enjoy The Atlantic Highlands Muse.

-Tim Hill